June 9, 2013

TPG's Game Time - Season 3 - Episode 10 - Mysha (Game of Thrones Recap)

And now my watch begins. No, I'm not talking about part of the oath that Samwell uttered tonight, I'm talking about the long wait in front us until the next Thrones season sometime in 2014. Waiting for this show to come back is worse than being roasted by a dragon and I'm not looking forward to it, but in the meantime we have some topics to cover. What do you say we break the wax seal and check out the season finale of the third season of Thrones? And since I don't get to do this again for a long time, I won't just stop at 10 points.

Direwolf Badassery - 3 points - Now this may be controversial but if your pet is so badass that people put it on your corpse in celebration, then you have to have some type of pretty badass pet. RIP Grey Wind. But damn, that shot was a real brutal reminder of the damaging events of last week! Also, props to Ghost for getting some quality screen time. Too bad he wasn't protecting Jon Snow from getting pin-cushioned.

Joffrey Swag - 5 points - Seeing him prance into the small chamber room full of glee and bad vibes was the finest Joffrey Swag moment of the season. He is so evil, so stupid, and so good at talking shit that no one hears. Praise Joffrey.

1. Sansa pointed out that Tyrion is a pervert, well I think we all know that whatever Podrick Payne is up to with those wenches is something potentially very perverted.

2. Tywin points out that "A good man does everything to better his family, regardless of his selfish ambitions." This piece of wisdom is interesting when viewing the events of the season. Obviously Robb Stark put love over family when he married Talisa and I'm not going to link to last week but we know how that turned out. Jon Snow on the other hand put his family (in this case The Night's Watch) first over his love, no matter how painful it was. And finally a case could be made that Jaime Lannister chose kindness and compassion over family when he went back to save She-Man.

3. Hodor yelling into into the well was so good that next season I will be counting Hodors.

4. For someone who we haven't seen all season, Yara's big speech about going to save her brother with "the fastest ship & 50 of the best killers," was an episode highlight. I cannot wait to see more of her next season. Future badass alert!

5. My question last week was answered, The Blackfish escaped! I'm looking forward to many things next season but seeing the Blackfish aka the best archer in the game right now wage a war of vengeance will be a highlight.

6. So the great mystery of who was tormenting Theon Greyjoy is answered. It was Roose Bolton's son. Ehhh not as huge as a revelation considering all the brutal torture scenes. The only big revelation out of this is seeing this demented duo get theirs is going to be a future highlight of the show. What an evil, twisted family.

7. So Bran and his posse are going beyond the wall to keep searching for the three eyed raven and other magical creatures that Bran believes in. I do not know what his future holds but based off his mind control and vision quests, I'm sure it will be rooted in the more magical elements of the show.

8. I'd like to point out that of all the different ways you can lose your virginity, doing it with a super hot MILF witch while surrounded by flames and leeches is a real way to start things off. Gendry has either a life of therapy or glory ahead of him. No middle ground.

9. MIND MELT WITH A SIDE OF STALE BREAD - Two episodes ago Stannis dropped three leeches into the flames. They were for the three usurpers: Joffrey, Robb, and Balon Grejoy. Now one of them is dead, Joffrey angering both the Starks and Papa Lannister, and Balon losing control of his children, I wonder if that prophecy will come true.

10. It's no secret that I love Arya Stark and her first "real" kill, a brutal stabbing of some soldiers who were talking smack about her family was epic. But the real question, did she use a dagger because The Hound had her sword Needle or has the Needle gone missing?

11. Sure, Samwell killing a white walker was awesome, but it seemed kind of accidental. However Sam standing up to Maester Aemon felt like his first true act of courage because he was able to believe in himself and the power of his oath. True understanding. Knowledge is power and speaking of that....

12 REAAADDDDDINNNG RAINBOW - If Ser Davos hadn't learned the magic power of reading he never would been able to tell Stannis about the dire situation at the wall. It was through the magic of reading that he could finally defeat the Red Witch, get his friend back, and gain control of an army. Give it up for reading!

13. So the season ended with Khaleesi getting her humanitarian on and crowd surfing a throng of slaves while they called her Mysha (mother). YAAAAAWWWWNNNNNN. We've already seen her liberate a city of impoverished people before and the spear stomps of the Unsullied was much cooler than this medieval world music rave scene. I love Khaleesi but she needs to stop this whole city sacking routine and get her ass to King's Landing and start taking what is hers!

14. Bonus guest thought longtime This LA Life reader Z.Cash Hat
Everybody's got theirtheories on how shit's going to go down past the completed books. Given that it's a Song of Fire and & Ice, many of us have assumed it was gonna be up to Dani with her dragons and Jon Snow to regulate on those White Walkers.  I think tonight's finale made a strong symbolic gesture toward their intertwined fates.  Jon being hoisted up and carried inside by the Night's Watch looked very Christ-like to this Jew, and before they started crowd surfing her around, Dani's initialpose was pretty similar.  Future Fire Queen and Ice King as Jesus-like
saviors?  I'm hoping that's the case.
Holy Cow that's a crazy theory, and what a great one to go out on!

Let us hope that the next season has even more of the "Dragons & Magic" that Stannis spoke of tonight. It's been great writing this recap for you guys. Thanks for reading. Stay tuned for the return of my Breaking Bad recaps "TPG's Chemistry Class!"

June 2, 2013

TPG's Game Time - Season 3 - Episode 9 - The Rain Of Castamere (Game of Thrones Recap)

RIP Robb Stark, the King in The North, a loyal son, loving husband, good brother and holy shit I can't believe that just happened. Wow! God dayuuuummmmmmmm. No other show in the history of TV shows that I have seen has ever done a major character and fan favorite in like that. The girls I was watching the episode with had tears in their eyes, so to make it up to you I've included the above gif as an apology, but shit, that was insane. 

Direwolf Baddassery: 6 Points! If a direwolf rips someone's throat out but is being controlled via mind link, does it still count? I'll side with the general school of thought that it certainly does! So yeah, that scene of direwolves just wrecking people with Bran was incredible. Let me also give a big shoutout to Grey Wind---RIP. That shot of his eyes closing was just brutal. Also, lots of epic points to Grey Wind for sensing what was going down before it actually did.

Joffrey Swag: None.

1. I knew it was coming. Earlier this year I typed "Robb Stark" into google so I could find an image for a post and the suggested search term was "Robb Stark Dies." I was pissed when I found out (Damn you Google!!!) but that didn't make tonight any less shocking. The baby stabbing of Talisa was beyond brutal and and the endless crossbow assault was insane. Thrones did mass execution last year with the Warlocks, but this made that look tame in comparison. Serious props to the creators for closing it out with Lady Catelyn slitting the young girl's throat and airing the credits sans-music. Chilling.

2. Now that we've got the shock out of our system let's go over some quick facts and questions. Speed round, let's go:
  • The Blackfish went outside to "find a tree." Was he in on it? Did he betray the Starks and his own nephew? Doubtful I think. If he didn't betray them, is he dead?
  • Is Edmure Tully, aka the dude who made out well with the bride dead?
  • This had to be what Tywin was writing letters about in the earlier episodes this season right?
3. Damn I'm still reeling from the darkness, but how funny was that opening scene. I knew Lord Frey was a dirt bag, but I didn't know he was so funny. Not knowing the names of the girls, commenting on Talisa, saying that he "always sees beneath the dress," and just talking like a 20 year old bro in a repulsive body, what a zany old demonic maniac.

4. While everyone is talking about the events of the reception, this episode was also especially crazy for Jon Snow and Bran Stark. On the Snow front he finally got to fighting again, thank God, and bro, what are you doing riding out on your girl like that? Nice that he diced up that Warg, though. That dude sucked. 

5. So Bran is now some kind of super Warg? Jojen pointed out that no one can get inside people's heads like Bran showed he could tonight. With each season more and more magic is seeping into this show. Keep in mind that in the first season there is barely any magic outside of the white walkers. Now we have shadow assassins, shape shifters, dragons, mind controllers, giants, magic healing powers, white walker kryptonite, and who knows what else is coming down the pipe. I'm calling it now. Bran is going to end up being VERY important to the entire story.

6. Shout out to the man, lil Rickon Stark (Art Parkinson), who has never really done anything in the past seasons, but tonight delivers a sneak attack of an emotional scene where he doesn't want to leave his brother. This scene is even more effective when you consider that him and Bran are the only Stark men left! Rickon also scores points for having the dopely named Direwolf - Shaggydog  (does Rickon have a future as a phish head?)

7. That fight scene where Ser Jorah (da legend!), Grey Worm, and Daario (or is it Daria?) were just wrecking dudes was some of the coolest fighting the show has ever done. It even included some type of tag-team Mortal Kombat fatality, which was off the chain. That being said, this Daario dude is cheesy as hell, get a hair cut bro. I have a hunch he's going to be around for a long time cause Khaleesi obviously sees him as Drogo 2.0. And let's  be clear about this, this dude is more like Fabio than Khal flipping Drogo. Khal Drogo ripped dude's tongues through their throats, this guy uses conditioner and fights with a scimitar, big difference . 

8. When all is said and done, Arya Stark is going to be become the most badass character in the history of the show. If you watched "The Wire" she will be the "Omar" of the show. If you watched "Lost" she will be the "Desmond." Her destiny is vengeance and it's a long journey to get there littered with corpses of her enemes. I cannot wait till her first meaningful kill. That being said as my buddy pointed out The Hound really is making a habit out of saving Stark girls.

9. Not a single Lannister on screen tonight, yet their presence was felt. Next week in the finale, I expect we'll get a heavy dosage of Kings Landing plot lines.  I hope that Tyrion will do something heroic beyond just courageously getting drunk and passing out.

10. There is only one episode left this season and the finale's of this show are always exceptional. I wonder if they'll be able to top last seasons epic Valar Morghullis scene (featured below.) Also because I appreciate all my readers I just want you to know, in this very moment, start mentally preparing for the long wait after Sunday.