For the first time all season I missed the Sunday broadcast of Thrones, so today I'm coming at you with a late edition of TPG's Game Time. Fear not, just because I slip up, doesn't mean I'm going to let some warg cut my rope and leave me to die, hell no! So it's going to be quick and abbreviated, but fear not, like Daenerys, I'll be back in force next week.
Direwolf Badassery - None, soon the Direwolves will rise.
Joffrey Swag - It's all fun and game laughing at Joffrey until he actually uses his bow to kill a seemingly innocent woman. Man, hating on Joffrey is fun, but there's a reason for it, this kid is a monster.
1. Fat Sam is either going to die a terrible death or come out of this saga as either A) A King B)Just a jolly old fat dude with a huge family that he sings to. Still waiting for his courageous first kill though, it's coming....I can feel it!
2. Trajectory of Jon Snow. Season 1 he's the ultimate badass, just beating the shit out of everyone and killing blue eyed demons on the reg. Season 2 he's...ehhh....kind of a wuss. Now Season 3 he's a sexual mastermind and epic hero pulling off Cliffhanger stunts, befriending the BG, and rocking out epic sunrise makeout sessions. Welcome back to being my favorite character, Jon Snow, actually you never stopped.
3. The magic of Game of Thrones is when characters from different story-lines meet and the entire "game" gets re-arranged. Never for the life of me did I think Melisandre would meet Arya and Gendry, but now that they did, my head is spinning. Why does she need Gendry, I know it's some Baratheon blood magic, but what is she really up to. Breeding more shadow assassins. And what does it mean when she says she'll see Arya again? What's that...I smell a mind-melt on the grill.....
4. MIND MELT with Multiple Eyes - I mentioned last week how clear it is Arya wants vengeance on those that wronged her family. I think those different eyes that Melisandre refers to are different stages that Arya has to go through before she becomes a master swordsman and catches up with Sir Jaqen to become a Faceless Woman aka a badass destroyer.
6. The Theon plotline this season is like "Game of Thrones" does "Saw." I have no idea where it's going. For a moment I thought maybe the torturer was working for the Lannisters, but who knows? My prediction...he's working for the Greyjoys.
7. Olenna Tyrell's shtick of putting everyone down yet also keeping them up by pulling their strings was getting old and I'm glad that someone finally got her in line. Not surprised it was Tywin that dude is so cold I could have sworn he was a White Walker. Speaking of Tywin, something for all the 50 Shades readers out there.
8. That scene where Sir Loras was bullshitting about the weddings was hilarious.
9. While it's tough that Tyrion has to wed Sansa, I feel that he may be playing his family a little bit. He knows the value of Sansa to the Starks, and while he may gripe about it, I wonder if he's keenly aware of how his bride to be is actually a key puzzle piece on the ladder to power.
10. Speaking of a ladder, how about that final monologue about the climb out of the pit of chaos. Classic Littlefinger but I want to point out a couple of things here. The first is that Varys didn't seem that phased by the death of Ros. The second, if Ros is dead I wonder if Shae can't be to far behind, I say this because of their opening scene together where they revealed they're both hiding secrets. The third, is a more deep thing, but if Littlefinger says the climb to power is all brutal and rough but then at the top we get some deeeeeppppp romance with Jon Snow and Ygritte, are the creators trying to tell us that the true glory of the climb is love. They wouldn't have included an epic kiss between two lovers from different worlds, a gorgeous vista, and some serious heavenly sunlight if they didn't.
See you next week.