Nooo one dispatches their enemies like Khalesi does. Oh, hey there, how are you, good to see you, had to get that out of the way. Now let's get into this recap which had a healthy balance of violence, intrigue, family scheming, Theon Greejoy getting punk'd thrones style, and a surprising lack of sex and/or nudity,
Direwolf Badassery - Somewhere a direwolf is growling, but we didn't hear them tonight. We only got lip service of Grandma Tyrell saying direwolves are fierce creatures that look good on shields and flags. Yes, if the Queen of Schemes herself is down with the direwolves, than hopefully the writers of Thrones will follow her lead and get some more badassery down the line.
Joffrey Swag - If you consider parading around your smoking hot wife around your dope ass hosting room swag than Joffrey had swag for days tonight. He gets bonus points for keeping the bones of his enemies around but negative points for revealing himself to be a history nerd with a bizarre hand waving motion. Also negative swag points is his inability to recognize that he is on a fast train to being whipped is.... disappointing.
1. Man Kingslayer is in a bad place. His sword hand is gone, he can't fight, he's drinking horse piss and he clearly is falling deeply in love with She Man...actually that last one is probably a good thing. Keep in mind this is a dude was pretty much a smug Prince Charming who was having sex with his sister and threw a kid out of a window. Now we're feeling bad for him? That's good writing, good acting, and just an interesting character. However, I'm not so sold on his total conversion to good-guy, he still needs one or two more selfless acts.
2. MAGIC ALERT - Varys story of his castration was a long time coming, I feel like he often mentions it as joke, but to hear the whole thing shocking. The part regarding the blue flame and the sorcerer was particularly noteworthy because A) It broadens the magic in this show more which is great B)Indicates a new magical division beyond the Melisandre red camp magic. Who are these blue magic folks? Also that is nuts that he has that sorcerer in his possession. Is he going to torture him or use him for some reason first.
3. PAUSE FOR POLITICS - For such a huge show with so many characters of a variety of different ages, genders, and races Thrones is kind of lacking in positive gay characters. I should say that while she may fit some stereotypes, I don't think Lady Brienne is gay at all. In fact as far as I know the only gay character is Loras Tyrell and he's barely on the show. Renly was but he was soft and no one took him seriously. I understand this is the world that was created, but it's a little wild that every time it comes up on the show whether is Varys talking about what people are into or Margaery talking about Renly, homosexuals always come across as disgusting. Combine this with the ridiculously stereotypical slave merchant Khalesi dealt with, the show isn't that progressive at all.
4. Let's give it up for production designer Gemma Jackson, who just makes the whole show look fantastic! The sets and the whole look of tonight's episode was stellar!
5. Last week I wondered who Theon's rescuer was, and tonight we found out he was...just another torturer. What? So this guy was killing his own men just to bring Theon back for more. That's not important, what is important is Theon revealing he never killed and kids and he basically realized he screwed up royally sacking Winterfell. His journey towards redemption has officially begun.
5.5 Also on that path toward redemption is the The Hound. He showed some serious compassion last season to Sansa and his speech about not being a murderer was on point. Where his journey takes him, I guess we'll see, but I find it very intriguing.
6. Last week jokes about Podrick's prowess with the ladies were funny, this week they're plot. What?
8. That dagger kill up through the throat had to be the kill of the season right?
9. So Khalesi had her big moment and yeah, as I said before, it was incredible. Roasting her enemies, freeing slaves, and marching out to pounding drums....I mean she's living the dream. Two things though: 1) This entire plot at the city was spoiled for me by the previews for the season. 2) Sir Jorah's reaction shots to the whole thing were priceless.
10. No Jon Snow this week, I wonder if he's going to cross paths with Sam as they both make their way back to the wall. Also no Robb Stark this week, ehh, I find his story the least interesting of all them.
Thanks for reading and have a great week.!