April 14, 2013

TPG's Game Time - Season 3 - Episode 3 - Walk of Punishment (Game of Thrones Recap)

This guyyyyyyyy
Can you hear the laugh track playing in the background? No? That's surprising because this was easily the funniest episode of Game of Thrones yey. Sure in the past we've had some good laughs here and there, but tonight...tonight...was a welcome surprise...too bad Jaime Lannister won't be able to clap for it...zing!!!

Direwolf Badassery - .3 points. We saw some shots of Ghost pacing in the woods, probably because he knows some bad shit is going to go down at Craster's Keep, but generally pretty weak. We also got more folktales about about King Robb being able to turn into a direwolf and that he eats his enemies. Cool, but I'd rather see that in action than here some Lannister Little Rascal murmur about it.

Joffrey Swag - No Joffrey this week, he's probably busy playing with his crossbow and trying out new fashion. 

1. First hilarious part of the episode. It opened with grim serious ritual of an legend's body being sent down the river for a viking funeral. If you've ever seen the Richard Gere Camelot movie First Knight you know what I'm talking about (First Knight is dope btw), but once that dude lined up his shot...I was thinking...what if he can't hit this. Hilarity when he tries three times and fails. And then we get a true introduction to a new character Blackfish aka Ser Bryden Tully aka a dude so badass he shoots flaming arrows and walks away knowing he hit his target. That's the Game of Thrones version of a mic drop.

2. Good thing we got a silly introduction to Blackfish because in the next scene we see that he is a keen advisor to Robb Stark, who is showing that he has a daft mind for military strategy. We've seen his tactics work before, particularly with the capture of Jaime Lannister, but here we again we see him as a true warrior King. He clearly has his shit together and is plotting his next move, smart money is that it's going to be a brilliant one.

3. Thrones Comedy Part 2 - Hot Pie, aka the fat kid that hangs out with Arya, bakes a piece of wolf shaped bread for Arya as a parting gift. Considering it looked like a rhinoceros, the whole interaction with her and up and coming badass Gendry was real funny. Gendry had that look l like "how the hell did I not know you were called Fat Pie this whole time." His gentle pat on the arm goodbye was nice little coda as well.

4. So Mance is sending Snow and the BG (that's the badass Ginger Wilding) to take down the wall. Damn I'm really hoping we get a Blackwater style throw down at some point this season and double damn I really hope this is it.

5. MIND BONE - Did you hear that guy tell Theon that Winter is coming after he made quick work of those guards in the woods (the close range arrow to the head was a nice touch)? Interesting that Theon took his hand after hearing that. Does this mean Theon is back with the Starks? Is this dude a Wildling? A Stark?  

6. Damn Stannis, I love you bro, but you look like you've gone totally loopy. Chasing after your head strategist/lover/temptress/S&M partner and begging for her not to leave, like some puppy dog college kid. You're supposed to be the true king! But what was that about King's blood. What is Melisandre up to? She needs Baratheon blood? Who is she going after? Joffrey? Gendry?

7. Funniest Scene In Thrones History - Podrick Payne, Tyrion's squire get's his reward for saving Tyrion at the battle of Blackwater and naturally, since this is Thrones and we're talking Tyrion, it's a lot of sex with some whores. Keep in mind Tyrion also sent whores to the other young man he knew...Joffrey...so it seems Tyrion is not the guy who gives books with hand written notes when special occasions come up. Nevertheless when Podrick returns and tells Bronn and Tyrion they didn't take his money and he did "things", I thought I was watching...Game of Bros and they were about to drink some meads and swap bedroom stories. Hilarity.

8. Once again we're back with Khalesi and I have to say I'm just not that interested in this story. Like I know that she's going to roast this slaver dude alive, now way she lets someone as despicable as him live, so the whole promise of a dragon trade is kind of weak. Also this guy is so one-dimensional, he's starting to feel like a racist caricature of a middle eastern sleaze ball merchant and I'm not that comfortable with that.

9. The She-Man and Kingslayer relationship is one of the most complex and interesting on the show. It's clear that he finds her fascinating and is falling in love her, but how she feels about him...hard to say, at this point, but she has to be grateful. 

10.  Seeing a super babe like Khalesi walk around with two old ass dudes made me think how funny a sitcom about a fiercely independent emo-girl and her two zany grandpas would be. I'd call it The Grandragons...anybody...anybody?

See you next week!

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