May 7, 2012

TPG's Game Time: Episode 6 "The Old God's & The New"

I can feel the set-up. It's becoming almost standard practice with these epic cable series that they start a little slow, begin to ramp up, and then around episode 7 they just become a mad blitz of violence and awesome power until the end. This week's episode title "The Old Gods and The New" felt like the last episode before shit really begins to pop off, and I enjoyed it greatly. That being said, I cannot wait for what is coming. I feel like there is some next level Thrones shit on the horizon and I'm ready for it.

Joffrey Swag - 1 Seeing him pouting like a boss while his sister was shipped away in tears was hilarious and awesome. Also a return of the Joffrey being so spectacular he can't even respond to getting slapped earns him points as well.

Direwolf Badassery - .1 Can these beasts please kill again. All we got was Ghost plotting around behind Jon Snow, getting called a "pet" and Shaggydog and Summer rolling out of the castle with Bran & Rickon stark.

1. Ahh, Theon Greyjoy, you little shit, I cannot wait for you to beg and plead for mercy while Robb Stark feeds you to Grey Wind for lunch. However, on a observational direwolf note, you ever notice that while Theon was boys with the Starks for so long, he never got a direwolf. Jon Snow got one and in case you didn't know...he was a bastard. As for Greyjoy, dude is so weak sauce now he can't even take Sir Rodrick's head off with one strike...that is definitely a metaphor. Where Robb seemed to transition very well from being a son to being a leader, Theon is obviously struggling.

2. Ygritte is the name of the wilding babe that Jon Snow is spooning with. I gotta say, I had no idea that wildings could be so hot, I thought they were all grimy witch people like Osha (more on her later), but I wasn't ready for her snow bunny ginger powers, and from the looks of it, I don't think Jon Snow is either. I wonder if she's going to teach him more about the White Walkers, wildlings, and you know other things that he's not as versed in.

3. MIND MELT WITH ICED BLUE CHEDDAR - I loved the speech that resident ranger badass Qhorin Halfhand gave to Jon Snow about the purpose of the wall, not just because it was a well written speech, but because it seemed to be timeless commentary about the current state of war in the world. The wall is a metaphor for Iraq/Afghanistan, the Night's watch are all the armed forces members who exist but the common man doesn't know or care about, the Wildings are insurgents, they may or may not be tied in with the massive global evil that we know nothing about, aka the White Walkers. The whole thing just fits so well and was a nice change of pace from the usual power play lingo of the show.
4. More than any other character Daenerys has had the least to do this season. So I suggest she take some acting lessons from Megan on Mad Men to further bring the thunder with her threats and promises of her pending kingdom taker over. She also should meet up with Stringer Bell from The Wire to learn about business, as that whole I will pay you back three times seems like a real bad deal.

5. However that being said, I don't know who massacred her men and took her dragons, but I'm going to guess it was those zany old warlocks, always up to no good, those Warlocks. Here's hoping my man Sir Jorah gets to regulate a little bit trying to get them back.

6. This week on "Game of Thrones" gratuitous sex was replaced with gratuitous guts getting ripped out part 1. First we had Dogg rescuing Sansa, something which was satisfying because it has been foreshadowed ever since Ol' Little Finger told her the story of Dogg's dicey relationship with her brother. We also had him offering kind words to Sansa last season after her father's death. Still ol medieval Two Face's quick destruction of Sansa's rapists was very satisfying and I wonder if he really getting tired of Joffrey's tricks.

7. This week on "Game of Thrones" gratuitous sex was replaced with gratuitous guts getting ripped out part 2. Osha! I wondered what her play was during the course of the episode, but seeing her sacrifice her body to rescue Bran was very satisfying. Also was her ninja throat rip on that guard! I wonder why she's doing it. Is out of loyalty to the Starks or because she knows Bran is seriously important for his potent dreams?

8. With the Stark boys bailing on the Winterfell, my girlfriend and I both wonder...what happens when a Stark isn't in Winterfell? Do all the ravens grow an extra eyeball?

9. I loved seeing Robb Stark just walking through his troop camp just giving out high fives and fist pumps. "Ahh, whatup Sir Freddy Blacksmith Mayne...nice battle, sup Ace McCloud...what's up super hot nurse babe...what's up Mom..whaa?" Also how the hell he noticed his mother but not She-Man is beyond me.

10. For all you Joffrey Haters out there...aka the world, here's a picture of him with shit on his face.

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