April 30, 2012

TPG's Game Time: Episode 5 - The Ghost of Harrenhal

It's official, "Game of Thrones" is approaching "Lost" like levels of unbearable anticipation for each episode. Show is so money and it knows yet. Each week it's delivering the goods, but, now...just hold a second. Perhaps it's cause I turned 26 last week, but as my fandom increases so do my standards, so this will be my first recap with a side of criticism. Show is still fire...but I gotta point it out when I see it. So let's gaze into the warlock stone and get into it.

1. I'll just come out with the criticism. Tywin Lannister is portrayed as the most smart, cunning, and dangerous person on the show...yet how the hell has he not connected the dots about Arya. Either he has and he's just keeping her close or he's just be neglecting his R-Mail (that would be raven mail for you non-throne junkies). I'm inclined to believe it's the latter because no-one has picked up Gendry...a dude the Lannisters went on a baby killing spree for and is now just straight chilling making weapons. Yeah yeah yeah, I know they found the bull helmet and think they killed him, but connect the dots here people!

2. So we got a pretty major character death with Renly. How do people feel about it? I always thought Renly was soft as hell compared to his brothers and I won't miss him that much because he seemed to spend the bulk of his time talking with his lover or sitting on chairs. Allllright....I'll be real with you...I knew this death was coming cause I stumbled upon reading about that shadow assassin thing. Kind of depressing that it wasn't as shocking, but that kill was pretty stellar, especially how the blade dissolved.

3. BREAK FOR ACTION MOVIES - Let's go ahead and make some connections with "Game of Thrones" and some classic action flicks:

  • Last Action Hero - Tywin Lannister himself (actor Charles Dance) pops up in this Arnold Opus.
  • The Rock - Tyrion Lannister takes in a host of chemical weapons and decides that they don't belong to the government, they belong to him...how very General Hummel of him.
  • Leon/The Professional - A young girl, who witnessed the death of her father is mentored by a mysterious killer. Hello Arya Stark!

4. We are five episodes in and the coolest thing the mighty dragons have done is cook a piece of steak. Are you kidding me HBO? Could you at least throw some nudity into these dragon scenes to make them more interesting? After seeing them get birthed last season, I was expecting some Dragon Wars (real movie) shit to be going down by now.

5. Theon Greenjoy gets dirtier and dirtier every episode. By the time the season ends I expect him to fully covered in grime (literally and metaphorically.)

6. From this episode on I will now be calling "Brienne the Beauty," you know the badass female knight that was down with Renly and is now down with Lady Stark by name of SHE MAN. Not because she's a gigantic tall female warrior...but because she looks like He-Man.

7. Let's talk about Qarth...can we talk about Qarth. My girlfriend pointed out that it looks like something out of "Midsummer's Night Dream," and while she's right, it's clear that there is some crazy shit going on in the desert. The Warlocks who are addicted to "shade of the evening" are clearly competing with the King's Landing "Alchemist Guild" for most stonerific characters on the show. The woman with face mask is extremely intriguing. And finally Xaro Xhoan Daxos is proving very J.J. Abrams like with his secret hatch/vault full of promises. No word if Desmond is inside..brotha.

8. SLIGHT MIND MELT: Good to see Bran stepping up in Winterfell. The juxtaposition of his little brother playing with rocks while he assumed the leadership position was satisfying. Notice how Maester Luwin didn't say much, where in the past he did the bulk of the talking. This scene was crucial because we know that Theon is coming through.

9. Jaqen H'Ghar was the 80's hair band rocker mysterious knight dude that promised Arya three deaths last night. Who this dude is and what instrument does he play in the 80's Throne Hair Band (is Jamie Lannister in it too) is beyond me, but he certainly is interesting. The whole business about owing Three Deaths to the Red God was super cool, but I don't think he can be trusted.

10. Finally...let's give it up for Sam...aka the clutchest friend on TV right now. He eagerly volunteered to be steward just so Snow can go regulate...something that the Bastad and us should be thankful for.

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