April 23, 2012

TPG's Game Time: Episode 4 Garden of Bones

Whoah, Game of Thrones just isn't holding back anymore huh? Not like it every really did, but damn with an episode titled "Garden of Bones" you knew things we weren't going to be getting bright and cheery. There was a lot to talk about here, so let's load up our crossbows and get into it.

Direwolf Badassery: 1.1 point for yet another kill for Rob Stark's direwolf Grey Wind. We didn't see it eat that guy's guts, but we saw the ferocious furry pounce and then we cut to the aftermath. .1 bonus points for the kill having a stealth element, nice!

Joffrey Swag: .1 points. Man, this was the episode where he crossed the line. That whole stunt with Sansa and the crossbow was acceptable cause it wasn't anything new, weapons, bossing people around, threats, you know would usually would give him a whole point. But turning a potential epic threesome into a ultra-dark S & M display....total loss of points. See #1

1. Is Joffrey the most hated character in all media now. I don't think there is a single person on any screen, TV Screen, Movie Screen, Silk Screen, Smoke Screen that audiences want to see die a horrible horrible death than this little shit. Crazy to think he was once the angelic kid scared of a street thug in Batman Begins! Jack Gleeson, the actor who plays Joffrey is doing an incredible job, but I really want to see that smoke demon baby thing rip him to pieces.

2. What's that, you thought post number one was going to be about the aforementioned "smoke demon baby monster jesus what the hell is that shit" thing that popped out of Melisandre at the end? Sorry, it gets post #2 cause I have no idea what to make of it besides the fact that it was a radical step into crazy magic for the show, and one that I'm totally behind. Cannot wait to see what that thing can do.

3. Speaking of Magic, have you noticed that the show loves to focus on people just not knowing how real it's all getting out there. Throughout season and two, people are doubting that dragons exist...but we the audience, know that they do. People scoff at the concept of White Walkers...but Jon Snow will be killing dem bitches in no time...trust. And now in this episode, Maester Luwin says that magic doesn't exist and that he's learned enough to know these things...but once again we know what's really going on.

4.  The Spice King of Qarth (which popped up in the opening credits) looks exactly like Kyle Gass of Tenacious D.

5.  Game of Thrones is approaching "Wire" levels of mind blowing quotes about the quest for power. You know stuff "They say hard places breed hard men and hard men rule the world" and simple gems like "Power is Power," so it was nice to hear Renly have such a nice quote as "A man without friends is a man without power." Damn Renly, a gay king, with a female bodyguard, and a really positive outlook on friendship! So progressive!

6. Nice to see Sir Gregor The Mountain turn up again, but they definitely recast him. This could be related to the fact the actor who played the original Mountain Conan Stevens appeared on Spartacus where he promptly got his face chopped off (extremely graphic link here).

7. The captured prisoners story interlude that Arya and Gendry have found themselves in is a classic situation that pops up in all great fantasy stories. It's all over the works of Tolkien and appears in Harry Potter as well. Can't wait to see what happens with Arya being Tywin Lannister's cup master.

8. The Hound seems to be getting more and more sympathetic to Sansa and her struggle. I wonder if he'll come around and see how evil his boss is.

9. Finally Game of Thrones is due for some truly crazy shit. We're four episodes in and while it's been great...I need to see where this extra budget has been spent. Until next week, I'll leave you with some of wild shit I want to see on the show

  • Dragons actually fighting instead of perching up on Khalesi like baby iguanas
  • Jon Snow fighting White Walkers, the real ones, not some possessed Wild Wings
  • A real huge epic battle, not just the preparation for it
  • Theon Greyjoy in a big pirate battle on the high seas.

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