October 4, 2011
What Apple Missed During Their iphone Event
Now that the Apple press conference has revealed the new iPhone, let's go ahead and take a second to stop worshiping at the the temple of the forbidden fruit and look at what wasn't announced but should have been. And in true thislalife fashion, let's turn to Hollywood for answers.
1. iSkynet or the iTerminator -It's only a matter of time before this happens, hell, it's probably already going on. Oh wait, it did, check out this article about ipads being used in combat and what we more we can see. So if that's the case I expect the isoldier to be announced at the next keynote and the itimetravel to be proclaimed at the keynote following that (after that there will be no more keynotes, only the resistance).
2. iMe - This basically the iClone, which when you think about it is really not that far away. Anybody who's seen the masterpiece* known as "The Sixth Day" knows that one day big corporations will build clones of arnold and XFL players
3. iF.R.I.E.N.D - Foret about Siri the personal assistant, anyone who has seen "D.A.R.Y.L" or "Josh & S.A.M" knows that the coolest friend that any kid can have growing up is a robot who can hack banks, drive cars fast, and steal Blackbird fighter jets. The sooner Apple quits playing games and starts making cool companion robots for kids, the better the world will be
4. Vigilante App - This is the most serious of all the things I'm proposed here. With a little programing by some Lucius Fox type persona, it's easy to imagine how the iphone could be used to fight crime. It could use geo tagging to find crime areas, sparks to terminate enemies, and social plug ins to keep up with your fellow Avengers/JLA members.
5. iCult - Kind of like "The Wicker Man" but people worship a device. People love like their own child, it would be created by people around the world who slave away around the clock in conditions so tough they snap and kill themselves. Oh wait, that's all real, speaking of that, where's my iphone/imac/ipad/apple TV. I need it, my precioussssssss.