July 14, 2011

Harry Potter Ends Today and I've Had Way To Much Veritaserum

Since it all ends tonight at midnight I figured this is my last chance to come clean about everything Harry Potter. Thanks to some shady contacts at Diagonally I've managed to procure some veritaserum. Whoahhhh, here comes the truth bombs!
  1. Selby, Dewey, Zach, and John, back in seventh grade when I bailed on a sickkk NFL Blitz tournament after school on Friday cause I had to do "chores," I wasn't doing chores, I was curled up in a chair reading Prisoner of Azkaban.
  2. Let's be honest here, if you're not gonna sorted into Gryffindor, the only other house you should want to be in is Slytherin. The other houses just don't compete
  3. I think the real life version of Quidditch is kind of lame. I understand people are really passionate about it, but it seemed like a bunch of Hufflepuff's pretending to be Gryffindor's, it's just not the same.
  4. When the book of "Goblet of Fire" dropped I took down a giant two liter of Barq's root beer and a huge bag of Lay's BBQ Masterpiece chips and read it in one sitting. Harry Potter +Junk Food+Caffeine = Heaven.
  5. No matter how hard I've tried, I've never been sorted into Gryffindor in any sorting hart ceremony, online or in real life....and this really breaks my heart.....Am I Snape?
  6. Lee Jordan is the coolest person in Hogwarts. This is undeniable.
  7. Dementors are scarier/better than Nazgul, even if Dementors are clearly Nazgul rip offs.
  8. EXCLUSIVE - Rupert Grint will play BRJ in the 500 million dollar adaptation of "BRJ and The Soul of The Universe," coming out in 2020.
  9. I once ditched out on a summer job to get the final book, almost got fired, but it was totally worth it!
  10. I didn't realize that Padma and Parvati Patil were Indian until I saw the movie. And on that accord I thought Hermione was pronouced Her-meeee-ownnnn for a solid 3 books...yikes guy.
  11. My favorite character in the entire series is Remus Lupin.
  12. Book 5 is a waste of time. Emo Harry + Lame Prophecy = C'mon JK!
  13. Bernie Bott's beans are delicious. Giving them out to strangers at midnight showings is more creepy than it is charming, I learned this the hard way.
  14. Goblet of Fire is hands down the best book.
  15. The best part of any book is in "Half Blood Prince" when Harry has to poison Dumbledore to get the Horcrux. This was so terrifying, sad, thrilling, and just intense!
  16. In my truest hearts of hearts, I always had a sneaking suspicion that Jane Yolen's "Wizard's Hall" was a little more than "inspiration" for everyone's favorite boy wizard book series.
  17. Harry should have ended up with Hermione.
  18. The story collection "The Tales of the Beedle and the Bard" is a magical book.
  19. Marauder's Map or Invisibility Cloak? That is the question!
  20. I'm going to miss Harry Potter so much after it's gone. I've met so many people cause we all loved the books. Thanks JK.


  1. Book Five was boss, TPG, and don't you forget it. Yes, Harry's sack obviously hadn't dropped yet - but what 15 year old isn't super annoying? The story line of how the Hogwarts kids banned together to start covert, direct action against Dolores Umbridge was amazing. Kids these days need to read more about grassroots organizing and effective forms of revolt.

  2. ain't nothing wrong with being a Ravenclaw...