April 30, 2010


I'm digging this!

April 29, 2010

Jonah Hex Trailer Hits

Josh Brolin: Good Cowboy Badass
Malkovich: Evil Badass
Megan Fox: Slut Badass
Will Arnett: What the shit are you doing in this movie?

Understanding the Commando Remake

Not only does he destroy people/buildings, he destroys stereotypes of single parenting

Yesterday, it was announced that FOX is developing a remake of the legendary action classic "Commando." Readers know that I'm a huge Arnold fan so this news hits close to the heart, "Commando" is a special one for me. I remember watching it on TV at my Aunts house and thinking "now, this right heya, this is a movie." At what point in the movie did I realize this? Probably this part right here:

 Let them try to remake gold, the alchemists at fox will learn the hard way that it cannot be done. They will try, they'll bring in David Ayer, screenwriter of the unforgettable Training Day, and also  the director of the extremely forgettable Street Kings. Yet at the end of the day, like the poor souls who tried to take down Arnold in that fated shed above, they will find that remaking Arnold is impossible. Why? Tune in tomorrow for a special article about why this is literally is impossible. 

April 28, 2010

TPG's LOST COMPASS: Los Angeles Recon (Sawyer & Miles Spinoff)

With no LOST last night, I was forced to take a long look in the mirror and think about who I'm going to be without LOST on the air. Well right when I was in my darkest hour, I got a call from ABC and they said....."Yo, TPG, we love your LOST COMPASS, why don't you write that Sawyer and Miles Spinoff you're always talking about." So here are my thoughts about the show that will be a reality soon.

The show will be called "Los Angeles Recon" and it will feature James "Sawyer" Ford and his crazy partner Miles "Whispers" Straume. Together they'll cruise around LA taking down perps, sexing up chicks (well, only Sawyer will be doing that), and conversing with dead people (Miles will talk to them to find the good Donut spots).

1. In the first episode Sawyer and Whispers are going to nail the meanest drug dealer in Los Angeles. A diabolical mastermind who is rumored to have some type of mystical powers. Born of a broken home, traumatized by a kidnapping in his childhood, and possessing an uncanny ability to appear in places where he shouldn't be,  Walt Lloyd runs the streets. With his father dead, he rebelled against his lawyer mother and took up a life of crime. He lives in a penthouse with his dog, his only true friend, Vincent. In a move very similar to Michael Corleone, in one night, he fried the minds of rival drug lords Stuart Radzinksy and Kelvin Inman. Sawyer and Whispers are really up against some tough competition with him.

2. Things get really loopy in the second episode when the boys have to protect a key witness to a grisly double homicide: Daniel Faraday.

Whispers: Jim, I just need you to trust me, this guy is not telling us everything he knows.
Sawyer: How you know Kemosabe, the whisper's talk to you again?
Whispers: Jim, you know what I told you about those.
Sawyer: What, that you're kind of....wait, look at that sexy witness, I'm going to talk to her.
Whispers: Jim! Jim!
3. The pace accelerates in the third episode when Miles actually finds a girl himself. A wild and free spirited sky diving Aussie named Naomi. Sawyer is happy for him, but suspects there might be more than meets the eye. A little research reveals this Aussie actually has ties to a shady international network of psychics, including Richard Malkin, Lyn Karnoff, and the ringleader, the mysterious Desmond Hume, who is said to have the ability to see the future. Sawyer and Whispers really get after it in this episode, with Whispers having to use his psychic gifts to win the hearts and minds of Naomi and Sawyer using, well, his superior firepower to take the whole bloody network down.

If everything works out, the show will be on the air next fall, I just need to talk to my people

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE - I didn't make this trailer, but it's very close to essence of the show.

April 27, 2010

24 Points About 24: 10:00 AM - 11:00 AM

 Chloe, You're Such A Great Girl
1. I love how they've never explained just why exactly Jack knows how to fly helicopters. He's been flying them for seasons now. Perhaps in the much anticipated 24 prequel we will learn where he learned this invaluable information, my guess he learned it from the AIRWOLF (great link).
2. I really wanted Jack to land his helicopter on either the Baxter Building or the Ghostbuster's Tower. Both would have been cool, but instead we settle for a building with a five on it.
3. Thank God Jack has a hip leather jacket and a jack sack otherwise he wouldn't be able to blend in with the other super hip New Yorkers. A fellow CTU agent points out that if he only had a mustache and an Ipd with Animal Collective playing he would have been straight up transparent.
4. Never would have thought I would hear "President Allison Taylor" and "impeachment" in the same sentence, she's been such a beacon of truth, hope, justice, love, peace, equality, gender politics, and woman's fashion for almost two seasons.
5. Here's a little SAT analogy for you
Lost: 24
Ben Linus:Charles Logan

6. The whole justification of torture debate between Logan and President Taylor is well written, thought provoking, and very much rooted in last season's themes
7. Dammmmmmmmmmmnnnnnn the 24 writers missed a golden opportunity by not having the private security firm be named Starkwood
8. Even though she's stabbing Jack in the back, it's thrilling to see Chloe totally in control.
9. Michael Madsen makes a welcome appearance on 24, but I can't help but wonder if his appearance is perhaps linked to some drunken gambling debt between him and Kiefer. "Alright Madsen you son of bitch, if you win this hand, I'll get you a part on season 8" Words Kiefer regrets every day.
10. "I need a com unit, two mp5s, an assault rifle and some other really cool shit," says Jack to Madsen, who's character by the way, is straight out of some direct to DVD schlock bin (another wild link).
11. Who are the 24 writers to make us feel bad for Dana Walsh as she gets hauled away? We hate this girl, she ruined 24, she's the reason its cancelled, she's the reason why Kiefer gets kicked out of strip clubs, well I don't know about that one, but you know what I mean.
12. Is Jack's techy friend looking at the Matrix go by? If that's true, is Jack Neo?
13. "Understand, Bauer is a highly skilled operative" says FPJ to his "men." Let me translate that for you non 24 fans out there "Jack Bauer is a killing machine and you guys are rookies are probably going to bite the dust like Agent Owens"
14. Why Ethan Kanin isn't President is beyond me, he bring the verbal barbs like a high school debate captain on some debataroids.
15. If the American TV landscape is totally dead in 24 years, Jack should return as a high level politician. At one point he should go see Ethan, who has now evolved into the most powerful man in Washington.
16. It cracks me and my fellow CTU agents up that Kayla Hassan gets all cheesy talking about peace agreements and violent people but doesn't mention the terrorist brah/psudo mastermind she was sleeping with earlier in the season.
17. When all else fails, Jack can hide behind trashbags and trucks.
18. That green sack is the JACK SACK on the juice! He's got a whole arsenal in there, can we expect a shootout on the scale of Commando?
19. Seeing Jack go into this sting operation, trusting Chloe,  is some of the most tense stuff that we've gotten all season.
20. Bauer's still got it! That decoy of the guy in the laundry bag, and then he takes Ken Jeong hostage, well played sir.
21. You want to know what happened to Cole's men? They got Bauered? Why has it taken that long for me to come up with that kind of lame verb, is beyond me.
22. I really want to think that all the bullshit with the evil indie rock bros, Dana, and small battle scenes with FPJ lead us to the moment where Jack and FPJ teamed up to fight for what is right, what is just, and what we deserve: a fitting and great finale to a show we care about! I also hope that Jack can protect FPJ from the Killer that knows what he did last summer.
23. Ethan Kanin and Charles Logan really getting after with old man verbal fisticuffs, honestly when is the Bauer and Ethan team up.
24. Damn this is some intense juxtaposition, the water boarding with the torture of Dana Walsh and the press conference It's crazy, I've waited the whole season for Dana Walsh to get what she deserved, but when it comes from someone else's hands that's not Jack, it doesn't feel right at all.

April 26, 2010

Marvel Universe Goes Back In Time

I know I've been posting video after video, I'll get back to writing content later this week.

April 23, 2010

Don't be fooled by the new Twilight: Eclipse Trailer

Don't let the epic action here fool you folks. This movie is going to be all people crying about love lost and dead werewolves.

Dog Saves Owner And Brings the Suspense Too

The following dogs don't have shit on this dog.

April 21, 2010

Lost is Ending...Are You Ready

This would be funny if it wasn't so accurate.

TPG's LOST COMPASS: The Last Recruit

Lift your heads and look to the sky, because it's raining missiles on LOST. Last night's episode entitled "The Last Recruit" featured not one, not two, but three missile attacks and that wasn't the only explosive thing going on. We got some great character moments and finally some real deal decision making. Well, by now you know the deal, I can't get too deep into explanations while I'm in Italics, so let's say we strap on our heavily weighted backpacks and leap from the boat into the vast ocean of last night's episode.

1. "You were trapped before you even got here," says Smoked Out Locke to Jack. Now, I don't want to offend anybody here, but is it possible that perhaps Jacob has trapped these people on the Island because Jacob is actually the bad guy. Think about it, JACOB is the one that has been meddling in their lives, not the Man in Black. Jacob is the one that seemingly offers no one a choice, while the Man In Black is very calm. Sure, Man in Black has a tendency to vaporize himself and regulate on people, but Jacob ain't the kindest guy either. He straight up played Ben Linus for a fool for years and enslaved Richard Alpert. Consider me dangerously close to siding with team Man In Black.
2. NERD ALERT- Sawyer not knowing who Anakin Skywalker is more bogus than Hurley not losing any weight while stuck on an Island. Sawyer has been quoting Star Wars the whole series, and now he doesn't know the name of it's most crucial figures. Here are some examples, even more here.

  • He has called Hurley "Jabba" in the past
  • In season 3, he tricked Aldo with the "Wookie Prisoner Gag"
  • Once, hilarious called Ben "Yoda."
If he called Hurley Jabba that would mean he's probably seen "Return of the Jedi" which features Darth Vader being called Anakin. Whoahhh, slow down there TPG, this is a LOST recap, not a Star Wars convention.

3. Besides the fact that everyone thought that Jin and Sun were going to get fried by the pylons, I thought their reunion was touching. And in a twist everyone saw coming, she regained her ability to speak english when she was reunited with her true love. Yup, LOST is really pushing this whole healing power of love thing.
4. Brothas, let me take a minute to talk about my main man Desmond. Does anybody really think he's dead in that well? You know he's coming back with his spear gun and going to start regulating on everyone. Why? Cause that's what he does...........brotha!
5. MIND MELT: I heard a theory this morning that really sent tingles down my spine. JACK IS DEAD. Yup, he was killed in the predator missile attack (Does Widmore use hardline pro?). What is my evidence of this. Smoked out Locke grabs after he gets blasted and says "it's ok you're with me now." The last person to use that language - Claire in season 4. After she appears with Christian, she says "it's OK, she was with him (Man in Locke)." Has Jack joined Sayid and Claire on team evil and doesn't know it, we'll see.
6. DOUBLE MIND MELT: So Man in Locke tells Jack that he has used Christian's body in the past. However earlier in the season in the episode "Recon" we learned the smoke monster can't travel across water. So how exactly did Christian appear on the boat to Michael to let him know he was toast? Is this an error on the writer's part or perhaps is the Man In Black not that trustworthy?
7. Where the hell is Jacob? Is Hurley carrying his ashes in that pouch? Yes, he is, but seriously, his Lebowski hating ass better show up soon cause Man In Black definitely has the upper hand right now.
8. Finally, it looks like my prediction about a big jolly hospital meet-up in the flash sideways is coming true. However, at this point I'm along for the ride in how it will all play out. Llana in the flash sideways? She seems to be working with Desmond? Sent my head spinning for sure. But, I am certain about one thing. Sawyer and Miles need to have that spinoff cop show. If that garden hosed takedown of Sayid and that smooth talking to the sexy suspect is any indication, I think I know what I want to be watching when Lost ends.
Something special for all the strander readers

April 20, 2010

Avatar Madness Continues

Alright all you Na'vi groupies out there, hold onto your hair braids cause I'm about to bring some Avatar news with the fury of Eywa. Because the film is coming out on DVD on Thursday (Earth day) Cameron is back on the media trail making geeks salivate. So here are your juicy Pandora pieces

1. Avatar 2 will feature the oceans of Pandora. Not really a surprise since Cameron is obsessed with the ocean.

And I’m going to be focusing on the ocean on Pandora, which will be equally rich and diverse and crazy and imaginative, but it just won’t be a rain forest. I’m not saying we won’t see what we’ve already seen; we’ll see more of that as well.
2. Avatar will be released in theaters again this summer with six new minutes of footage. In a refreshing twist Cameron actually says that this is partially, wait, I mean completely, motivated by wanting more money ( and also showing all those wanna be 3D films how it's done)

We’re working on finishing an additional six minutes of the film -- which includes a lot of Wetawork -- for a theatrical re-release in August. We were sold out of our Imax performances right up to the moment until they were contractually obligated to switch to “Alice in Wonderland,” so we know we left money on the table there.
Wait a minute, I thought this was about saving the Earth, not getting that money. Hey, Jim, just like Wu-Tang, Cash Rules Everything Around Me.

RIP Guru

Woke up to this morning to hear that Guru from Gang Starr has passed away. My condolences to his friends and family. I can say that this is a dude that really pushed me into rap music. I remember many late nights listening to his deep cuts on the legendary 88.9 WERS in Boston.

24 Points About 24: 9:00AM- 10:00AM

1.  When bad guys look at Jack Bauer's bloody t-shirt they see some type of Rorschach test. However, after seeing this Rorschach test they usually see a vengeful Jack Bauer bearing down on them.
2.  Now that we know that 24 isn't coming back next season, I think the chances of Renee pulling a Tony Almeida and rising from the dead are slim.
3. Ethan Kanin is one fool in love. One minute he's bedridden and the next he's back on his feet having romantic meetings with the President in the presidential chamber.
4. With President Logan wheeling and dealing like old times I wonder when they are going to address the old time issue such DIDN'T THIS DUDE GET STABBED IN THE CHEST last time we saw him in season six.
5. The look that good ol Sergei Bazhaev gave Bauer when he walked into that court room was straight out of "A Time to Kill," which if you didn't know starred Kiefer Sutherland as an evil psycho. Damn Kiefer how come you can't be like McConaughey and do some romantic comedies?
6. That's twice this season that Bauer cuts right to the chase during an interogation and goes right ahead with the threats against people's families. I mean this is his last hurrah, so he can't waste any time.
7. Confirmation that the Russian Government was behind the whole day! Wow this is the first season where the villains at the start of the day are actually linked and to the villains at the end of the day. Well done 24 writers, I don't know if you planned that, but well played none the less.
8. The only thing that Dana Walsh is a mastermind of is low voiced whisper voices, nothing else.
9. I'm not exactly why Jack is getting in taxis, I mean two episodes he was just stealing whatever Asian import car that he could find.
10. Mannnnnnn, I really hope that this season comes down to Bauer and Logan having an epic showdown, preferably in a steel plant.
11.  Even though he still has that strange neck gizzard thing, it is great to have a fine actor like Gregory Itzin back on the show. Itzin, wait a minute, is that a Russian name? What's going on here?
12.  Jack tells Chloe he's going to wake Agent Walsh up to "the idea of being dead." What exactly does that mean? I guess that means a face slam to the table, and a couple of back hands.
13.  Speaking of face slams and back hands, a couple seasons ago that would was child's play. He would have snapped her fingers like chicken bones.
14.  Give it up for Cherry Jones, her brief reaction to learning of Renee Walker's death was a showcase in precise emotional acting.
15.  Yeah, President Taylor is putting forth a valiant effort, but she is getting positively owned by Charlie Logan.
16. Between using the words "platitudes" and quoting Julius Caesar President Logan has proven that during his time off between seasons, he spent a great deal of time learning latin, playing bocce, and attending Harry Potter conventions where she impressed nerds with his knowledge of how Latin is the root of all spells in Harry Potter.
17. Talk about a turn around in Chloe's life. Two hours ago she was some lowly drone crunching numbers at CTU, now she has the President on line three.
18. President Taylor thanks all the people at CTU for their hard work and vigilance. However she forgets to thank the janitors and lighting crews that restored the place to brand new condition after the EMP attack. Those guys are the real heroes.
19. I often wonder what those screens at CTU show when there isn't a crisis? Does Arlo fly his drone over the Lost set in Hawai in an attempt to find out spoilers. "Arlo, you're such a nerd! Put the drone back over the Mets game!"
20. In one confrontation Bauer realizes that the President doesn't care about the truth and that he, Jack Bauer would make a great President. Check out the presidential tickets below
21. Bauer/Almeida or Bauer/O'Brien for President in 2012. Other tickets include Bauer/FPJ or my personal favorite: Bauer/Bauer, yes, there is nothing he can't do.
22.  I know she's the President, but President Taylor could really run a tight-ship if she was in charge of CTU. I don't think there would be any shady employees then, wait, oh, that's right shady employees have plagued her administration since the beginning, so scratch that.
23. Man, Chloe is getting all sorts of accolades as of late. Perhaps in the previously mentioned spin-off Tim Woods can be a romantic interest. After all, Tim Woods does speak very highly of her.
24. Chloe really doesn't get out of the office that much, she's vampire status pale in the sunlight. In fact she looks like she would fit right in the Twilight franchise, she could play Victoria, oh shit, I just revealed that I actually know something about the Twilight franchise, oh man, no I don't, 24 is the best. Bauer for life!

April 19, 2010

Summer Movie Smackdown: Kick Ass

Director: Matthew Vaughn
Starring: Aaron Johnson, Nicholas Cage, Mark Strong, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, and Chloe Moretz

Plot? - Fed up with his soulless life, teenager Dave Lizewski buys a turquoise wet suit and becomes the masked vigilante Kick-Ass. He soon learns that life is not a comic book. There are bloody consequences to his actions, other deadly heroes out there, and villains who don't care if he is just a nerdy/horny teenager trying to make the world a better place.
Reminds You Of?  -  Superbad meets Wanted. This is a raunchy teen comedy with insane levels of violence. For all you film nerds out there, this is the classic "cycle of the hero" story put in a ultra violent high school setting.
Ass Kicking Factor (AKF) - Absurdly high! "Kick-Ass" wait for it, oh man, I have to, yes, "Kick-Ass" kicks a ton of ass. Every single action scene in the movie is wildly entertaining. It doesn't matter if it's a simple street fight between Kick-Ass and some thugs or the 12 year old female assassin Hit Girl chomping bad guys into pieces, this movie turns it up!
Oh Shit Moments (OSM) - Director Matthew Vaughn knows how to give the audience what they want. He uses a simple script, expert direction, and a memorable score to set up his action sequences with more Oh Shit moments than someone who just swallowed a bottle of laxatives. Almost every single kill in this movie had people in the audience losing their minds. People were clapping, laughing, and in some cases, standing up and cheering.
Memorable Dialogue  - The entire film has a voice over has a voice over track provided by our hero: Kick-Ass. While this works well to establish the world and the primary characters, as the story moves on it kind of weighs the film down, as it doesn't feel necessary anymore. After talking to people, the voice-over is the most polarizing part of the film. Myself, I didn't mind it.
MOM Factor - If you can convince your Mom that a 12 year old girl getting shot and then subsequently blowing people's heads off is cool, you must have a super cool Mom. I'm going to take this opportunity to discuss the mini-controversy around the character of Hit Girl. It all started when Roger Ebert called her character "morally reprehensible," and called the film irresponsible. While I do like Mr. Ebert, I can't agree with him here. The film establishes itself as a live action comic book, complete with comic book sequences, over the top dialogue, and cartoonish directing style. When the character is viewed in this realm of reality, she clearly is not real. Mr. Ebert should be able to tell cartoon violence from fake violence, after all he lists "City of God" as one the best films of the decade and that film features some terrifying child violence.
TPG Truth Drop - I throughly enjoyed "Kick-Ass", it was an epic action movie roller coaster ride. I felt that it was film that was designed for all the fan boys and bloggers out there. Can a film be considered "good" if it only pleases a tiny sect of the movie going populus? The truly great films appeal to EVERYONE! The more recent "How to Train Your Dragon" is enjoyable for all audiences and is a superior film because of it. "Kick Ass" was dope, but then again, I really meet the criteria as the target audience. What is that that criteria?
Attended Comic Con.
Obsess over Lost.
Obsess over 24.
Am salivating over Iron Man 2.
Read over 6 movie blogs.
Am currently planning my Iron Man 2 costume for the midnight screening.
Alright, I'll stop there.

April 16, 2010

Octopus Steals Camera, Directs Deleted Scene From The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

This isn't really from The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, but it would be wild if it was.
Stick with it past the close-ups, it gets real awesome!

Who are the ones that are kicking the asses?

I know I deserve to have my ass kicked for not having a review of KICK ASS for you guys today. I had a family member in town, someone I haven't seen in six years, and I didn't want to blow them off to see a 12 year old girl chop dudes in half. Sorry, folks, I'll have a review on Monday. Whoahhhhh, now that we got out of the way, let's talk about kicking ass. People have been kicking asses since the beginning of time.

The dude who invented fire, he was definitely kicking ass.

Crood: Hey what you got there
Graw: I just made fire
Crood: Damn you're really kicking ass
After that, I would consider anyone who ever changed the world for the better to be kicking a lot of ass too. Martin Luther King, Mother Theresa, and JFK all kicked a lot of ass. Actually, I think JFK actually got a lot of ass as well, but who else kicks a lot of ass? Well certainly Arnold, he really kicks a lot of ass:

How about this classic scene, this is actually a verbal and mental ass kicking.

Yup, lots of ass kicking indeed. Stay tuned to my twitter, I'll be posting assorted ass kickings all day.

April 15, 2010

What Do You Know About "The Tree of Life"

The line-up for the Cannes Film Festival today was announced today and while some major films ("Robin Hood" and "Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps") are going to premiere, there is one film that was exempt. The film is Terrence Malick's "Tree of Life," and it is one the most secretive projects in all Hollywood.

Until yesterday I only knew the film as Brad Pitt and Sean Penn vehicle from an acclaimed director. Sure, great, I mean there are lots of movies with huge stars and premiere directors coming out. What makes this one special? Well, hold onto your mind, cause it's about to get blasted into space.

According to recent reports, the film is about, well, life. Not just life as you know it, but the entire history of life in the universe. The first hint about how bananas this movie will be came from Special Effects designer, Mike Fink, who revealed he is working on DINOSAURS for the film. Check out his quote

We’re animating dinosaurs, but it’s not Jurassic Park. The attempt is to treat it as if somehow a camera wound up in the middle of these periods when dinosaurs roamed the earth and creatures first started to emerge from the sea onto the land. The first mammals appearing. We’re doing a number of creatures all seriously scientifically based.
How that relates to the picture above of Brad Pitt is beyond me? Yesterday the internet was really set aflame when Brad Pitt revealed to Empire magazine that film had some sci-fi elements. Check out his quote below:

Well, in a way. It's this little tiny story of a kid growing up in the 50s with a mother who's grace incarnate and a father who's oppressive in nature. So he is negotiating his way through it, defining who he's gonna be when he grows up. And that is juxtaposed with a little, tiny micro-story of the cosmos, from the beginning of the cosmos to the death of the cosmos. So that's where the sci-fi – or the sci-fact – comes in."
Sounds like we got something special on our hands here people. And to put the icing on the cake there are rumors that the filmmakers have worked with NASA to shoot footage. NASA? What? We'll see as more details come out. Granted, I love hype, I'm shaking in anticipation for Iron Man 2 and Inception, yet "Tree of Life" potentially could be crazier than both of them combined, granted I said potentially there.

On the other hand, it also sounds like it could be the a sequel to Darren Aronofsky's epically disjointed film "The Fountain." Interesting that Pitt was attached to that project as well, before Hugh Jackman stepped in.

Either way, the movie is going to be distributed by Summit, who distributed this year's best picture winner "The Hurt Locker," so maybe their streak of winners will continue, sci-fi, dinosaurs and all.

April 14, 2010

TPG's Lost Compass: Everybody Loves Hugo

At the Lost Panel at Comic Con last year, a rotund man got up for his question and answer period with the stars. Rather than ask some prying question, he merely thanked actor Jorge Garcia for portraying a character that he could see on TV and feel good about himself. It made me realize that everybody really loves Hugo. He is Lost's resident teddy bear, it's voice of the fans (remember all those Star Wars jokes last season), and now it's de-facto hero. So, let's grab a good ol' family size bucket of Mr Clucks and start chowing down on last nights offering.

1. Forget Sayid as the destroyer, Desmond is just running down paraplegics now! I wonder, did his Island mind kick and tell him:

"Hey brotha, this brotha just you tossed you in a well on an iesland timelina brotha, go run ova this brotha, Brotha!

I don't think that's the case, he merely needed him to get Locke's stubborn ass to the hospital to meet with Jack, Sun, Jin, Charlie, Ethan, and whoever else is going to be there. Count it folks, we will see some hospital related action later in the season.
2. PRE-HEAT MIND MELT: Desmond is cruising around meeting up with our Losties and guiding them toward their destiny. Sounds a lot like....old school Jacob.
3. Hurley says to Michael, "So are the whispers the people who can't move on" And he just says, "Yes." For a show that's built on zapping your brain with electro-magnetic story telling telling, this direct answering of mysteries, feels straight up strange. Then again Michael could have been lying to manipulate Hurley....
4. MIND MELT- In the season 4 finale, Christian Shepard appears to Michael and says "You can go now" and then Freighter promptly blows up. Was Christian lying? Was this just sloppy writing? Was Christian actually the smoke monster releasing Michael from his part in the cosmic plan to get off the Island? Uhh probably. Or was Michael in this episode actually Smoked Out Locke? You know, tricking Hurley and his fellow candidates to come to his camp for pot-luck dinner and death.

Last Night's Little Rascal
A young Paul Walker from "The Substitute"
5. DOUBLE MIND MELT WITH SHAAARRP CHEDDAR: Once again, Locke sees some little youngster in the jungle. I'm betting all my LOST cred that this kid knows the other little tike, you know the one with a preference for bloody arms from "The Substitute." And let's take it a step further; I'm also thinking that the blonde boy is Jacob and this new cat is the Man In Black. Each has the correct hair color and wardrobe choices to match their more modern versions of the character. Now what they are doing the jungle? I'm sure we'll find out soon enough.
6. Well, let's talk about that well. Seen before in previous seasons, we know know it was built by people trying to figure out what makes the compass arrows spin. Translation: the people who built it were trying to figure out what the Island is. Now, compasses work because of electromagnetic energy, and electromagnetic energy is the most integral part of the entire show. Whether it's Desmond pushing the button, Desmond traveling through time, Faraday's research, Razinski drilling to the pocket,  Desmond getting zapped, or the current flash sideways world, this science which is both simple and mind shattering complex. Either way it is THE KEY TO LOST. We should all start here at the wikipedia page.
7. Another great episode! Now my big question is who can you trust? Do you trust Team Hurley, made of us extremely calm and wise Jack, writing pad friendly Sun, and Frank "The Terminator" Lapidus? Do you trust Jacob, who has been absent for some time now? What about Ben, Miles and ol Richy Boy Alpert, they have lots of island knowledge and leadership experience? Don't forget Smoked Out Locke, and his posse of frustrated (Sawyer & Kate), evil (Claire) and Sith (Sayid) pals? Across the pond you have Widmore and his Tina Fey scientist crew? So many factions! Me, I'm siding with my Hurley, why? Cause Everybody Loves Hugo. That's why.
Even Larry Loves Hugo!

April 13, 2010

Joss Whedon To Direct The Avengers

Joss Whedon will direct. Bleh, great, cool, sucks, whatever. Honestly Joss Whedon? You ever seen Serenity? This is the dude who's handling the greatest super hero movie of all time. And in other news I met him in an elevator at Comic Con.

Gears of War 3 Trailer

These games are it for me. Can't wait for this one.

April 12, 2010

24 Points About 24: 8:00AM-9:00AM

1.  So if the President's aide had Jack Bauer on the line for the President, does that mean that Jack Bauer was on hold. Jack Bauer on hold? I don't care who is on the phone. The President? The Pope? Will Schuester from Glee? Doesn't matter, nobody puts Jack in a corner, or on hold.
2. As a seasoned 24 veteran seeing Jack come so close to save Hassan and fail is actually kind of heartbreaking. In fact the whole opening 10 minutes of this episode are wicked depressing. They even have sad piano music running throughout the whole thing.
3. How fitting that in the final season of 24 the bad guys are the Russians. 24 is an action thriller about spies. Spies exist on this planet to fight Russian spies. So thanks 24, thanks for keeping it old school.
4. You can say what you want, but the evil Russian prime minister has a point. Hey brughh, Hassan tortured the shit out of you, aren't you a little happy that he's gone? Props to the IRK diplomat for standing up for what's right, even if you are damaged.
5. If you've learned anything from 24 folks it's that Presidential spouses cannot be trusted. Go ask Sherry Palmer or President Taylor's husband.
6. Tim and Chloe in the same scene? This is 24 history!
7. Chloe is in charge of CTU! I smell a zany 24 spinoff where Chloe manages her baby, her goofy British husband, and protecting the free world.
8. Regarding Dana Walsh,  Director Hasting says "I recruited the snake into the garden."  So Shakespearean, brah, guy's an everyday Hamlet.
9. Jack's pad is lacking in some key elements. What elements are missing. A battle axe, a katana, and framed portrait of Jack's greatest kill: Fayed hanging from a chain. (both those links are glorious)
10. Jack Bauer going in for the kiss! Such a bold tactical maneuver.
11. So why Alan Greenspan had to die is beyond us. Also props to a fellow CTU agent for making the Greenspan call.
12. This is the most sexual episode of 24 ever. For all you Bond/Bourne lovers out there, you saw what was going on in that mirror. Not only is Jack Bauer 100% bad ass in the field, he is clearly 100% Cassanova in the bedroom, can't wait to see his cooking skills!
13. Love how the Russian diplomat through the old fashioned "GOOD DAY!" on his statement that he won't be signing the treaty. "Hey TPG, can we watch GLEE instead of Lost tomorrow?" "No you may not....Good Day!"
14. President Logan has been calling Ethan on his cell phone. Come Logan, you gotta hit him up on his twitter, facebook, myspace, and four square account. His handle: "Undercoverpresidentlover"
15. It's funny that CTU Human Resources is so good seeing people get fired/laid off yet so terrible at hiring people.
16. FPJ takes one look at Chloe after her strategic deduction and realizes that he has been outwitted by a small supporting character from "Little Miss Sunshine."
17. Fellow CTU agents point out that Kayla Hassan has lost both her boyfriend, father, and mother (well technically she lost her to politics). She should take some notes from last season's presidential daughter Olivia Taylor, you don't want to get involved in these politics, it only leads to trouble.
18. Seeing President Logan in action makes me miss the legendary Agent Pierce. Where is this dude?
19. President Logan is rocking a mean double chin or some type of gizzard thing. Honestly what the hell is going with that? Is he half turkey?
20. Great scene between the current reigning President and the disgraced leader of the past. I can't help but imagine that at some point scenes like this play out with Hilary and Obama all the time. Whoah way too many politics here.
21. Look, I love Jack Bauer but I don't buy him as some cheesy lover? Are you thirssssty? You wannnnt some waaaaattter? Come on Jack you're better than that.
22. That cab driver really looks like Sharlto Copley, aka the legendary Vikus Van Merwe.
23. Jack Bauer is the most tragic figure in modern Television history. This loss of Renee Walker is heavy! Two silent countdowns in a row. Come on 24! You are making positively depressed.
24. The only solace I have in Jack's wounded soul is that he is going to go positively ape shit bananas medieval on everyone involved. Check out what I'm talking about here.

The Blog Squad

In the spirit of this summer's ensemble action movie theme, I've decided to highlight for you who is in my roster of trusted bloggers. If for some reason, in the future, the robots take over and the bloggers have to save the world (note, I dream that this happens every day) these would be the people I would want on my squad. So check out their blogs, I think you will find them enjoyable, and featuring less typos than mine.
Oh Cod!
This is the newest blog on the game.  I'd have to say, Cod, which is a weird name considering he refers to himself as "bear like" and bears eat fish like cod, is doing a great job. You can tune in here for musing on life, family, and everything else that tickles his fancy. He also has a solid guest blogger on the weekend who frequently brings the thunder as well. Ah, yes, why is the picture for this a bear? Go to his site and ask him.
Lifting Fog
The only blog on the list to feature two writers. In fact, the writers are currently in different time zones and separated by an ocean vast and wide. While posting here is intermittent, when there is a post you are due for a treat. Henning who is currently working for the Dharma Initiative and DJ STEVE who you folks know as the a guest blogger here call the shots, be on the lookout for posts.

Rock and Bacon
In the words of this blog's creative mastermind, this is a site about music, art, photography, bacon and other interesting things. A great place to discover fresh new bands and super heady photos and art, definitely worth surfing around here. So I'm not sure what's going with the bacon part of it, but bacon is damn tasty so who cares. Actually speaking of bacon, here is a video that features rock and bacon.

A Sophisticated Noise
For all you folks that think that thislalife.com doesn't have enough movie reviews. Yes I'm talking all you people out there who tuned in on Friday and said: "whaaaaaaaaat? TPG didn't review Date Night, what kind of operation is this?" Anyway back to matter at at hand, run by an old classmate, this site features some serious real deal film criticism. For all folks that think my ramblings about Oh Shit Moments and badass meters is too much, this is the site for you.
Cinema Chronicles
Although it hasn't been updated in a while, this is best designed blog on the list. You can tune in here for film reviews, movie news, trailers, and DVD reviews. Other bloggers take note of this design.

Things That Happen
You didn't think I could forget about main man Jay Judah. Jay and have been in this blog shit since the beginning. We're like the Gibson and Glover of blogging. I don't know what else to say about the legendary site, but needless to say, if there is anything cool on the internet, it's probably going to up here.  But wait, TPG, there's so much cool shit on the internet? Yeah, brah, but da coolest shit ends up here.

April 9, 2010

April 8, 2010

This Vegetarian Life

For 47 days I didn't eat meat. Yeah, I know no DEEZ. What was I eating? I was eating fish, actually, I was devouring a LOT of fish, how much, about 20 shoals. Every time I went to a diner, my buddies would be taking down bacon double cheeseburgers I would getting down on a Tuna Melt. I mean T-Melts aren't bad but after I while I was getting bored of them and I don't like egg salad.

And when I got exhausted of Tuna melts, I was switching over to shrimp. You ever really think about shrimp? They just float around in the ocean, waiting to get captured and turned in scrumptious eats. All you shrimp supporters out there, get after me, tell me what I said about them isn't true! thislalife@gmail.com

But I wasn't just living on fish and shrimp, I was getting down on the greens too. My go to vegetable of choice: the california avocado. What a vegetable that thing is!  I'm convinced that avocados exist on planet earth to remind people that the meatless life isn't that bad. Cados are the most multifaceted of all the vegetables.  Put on em salads, sandwiches, or make some guacamole. They are the Macgyver of vegetables.

The case for not eating meat are strong. Animals don't die. It's pretty healthy for you. You tap into natural energy from Eywa. However, that being said, the case for not being a vegetarian is stronger. See below:
Yes, that is a donut bacon cheeseburger with a fried egg in the middle!

April 7, 2010

TPG's Lost Compass: Happily Ever After

Welcome to the end of Lost my friends, I hope you are ready for this amazing story to come a close. Last night's episode titled "Happily Ever After" featured our main brotha Desmond and like all Desmond episodes it succeeded in being touching, romantic, thrilling, and full of information on how to interpret the show. It also set up how this is all going to conclude.  So let's grab a glass of MacCutcheon whiskey and savor the episode.

1. Before we take off into the heady theorizing, let's just put this out there, LOST=LOVE. Many of the character arcs, at least the good ones are all rooted in deep undying love. Tonight we had Charlie, Desmond, Faraday all talk about this powerful love that can shape space and time. Jin, Sawyer, Sun, Sayid, Claire, Ben, Kate, Jack, Richard and more all have love as the key to their storylines. Now if you believe that the Smoke Monster actually had a mother, as he told Kate in "Recon" (clip here) then perhaps his actions have been influenced by this cosmic love as well.

2. "The Island isn't done with you Desmond! "This line repeated last night, is ultra-important. We know that Desmond is looking for the flight manifest. What is he going to do with it? He's going to convince everyone about their other life, their "Island timeline" life. Example:
Desmond: Hey Brotha, do you remember getting ya appendix taken out brotha.
Jack: Actually no I don't
Desmond: That's because it happened on a Island in another timeline
Jack: Excuse me?
Desmond: Brotha brotha brotha brotha!
It won't play out like that, I'm not a LOST writer but you get the picture. This action will effectively put "the cork back on the bottle" and reset everything to the way it was meant  to be, a.k.a., the Island timeline.

3. Now as for his purpose on the Island? I think it has something to do with the pockets of electro-magnetic energy on the Island. I think the Large Hadron Collider magnetic machine they put him in last night was just a mere warmup to the insane amount of energy they are going to expose him to. Now, I think that both The Man In Black and Widmore/Jacob both want him to get into their energy, but their motivations are different. Widmore wants him to destroy the flash sideways and keep MIB in place. MIB wants Desmond to destroy Island timeline which will somehow free him from the Island.
4. Let's talk about art here, folks. Widmore, besides being the BOSS, has a long history of surrounding himself with important paintings. Check out the link to see what I'm talking about. Last night we saw a new painting: the scale. The important thing to note is that the scale is balanced. Is everything in that timeline how it is supposed to be? Ben and Hurley might agree. Sun and Sayid, I'm not so sure.
5. MIND MELT: Think back to Season 2. Shannon sees Walt in the jungle soaking wet speaking backwards. Later in season 2 finale, Miss Klugh asks if Walt ever appears places where he shouldn't be. Is it possible that Walt was speaking backwards and soaking wet because he came from the flash sideways. One where the Island is underwater? (Note, I have a hunch this Walt storyline won't be resolved)
6. FUN FACT: Last night's episode featured the first Academy Award winner ever to be featured on LOST. Who? Fisher Stevens, aka George Minkowski, Desmond's driver. He won an Academy Award this past year for producing "The Cove."
7. Call me a hapless romantic, but I was loving the end of the episode where Desmond and Penny begin their romance again. Of course, I don't know what coffee shops in LA are open at midnight, but who cares. Kudos to the writers for coming up a fresh twist on the greatest romantic saga on TV.
8. I'm sorry if this COMPASS is not on par with the others, this episode was a real head spinner. Last night on twitter, head writer Carlton Cuse tweeted that the episode was a new chapter for LOST. Yes it was indeed. My head is spinning and I can't wait to see where these final episodes take us. It's going to be a wild ride....brotha.


April 6, 2010

Dinner for Schmucks Trailer

The Hangover it's not. But hey, looks funny enough.

24 Points About 24: 6:00AM - 8:00AM

If Schuester Had Facial These Guys Could Be Related (Kind of)

1. Ahh. the episode opens with a sunrise. You know it's a little bittersweet considering this is the last day.
2. The pictures on the hall in the presidential command center are hilarious. We have photos of fighter jets, a giant screen running casualty figures on loops, and dual portrait of Goose and Maverick.
3. You know I can understand Hassan's reasonings for turning himself in. One life for a thousand, that's a tough thing to deal with. Whoah, getting real existential on us here, 24. Next thing you know we are going to have characters named Locke and Rousseau.
4. A bomb is about to go off in New York City and all of CTU is just sitting around waiting with awwww shucks looks on their faces.
5. I'm disappointed that Chloe is not fuming about the Jack and Renee romance that is the current to this entire season.
6. A fellow CTU agent points out that this 24 episode is especially pigeon heavy. Perhaps the 24 movie will be the long awaited Jack Bauer vs nature storyline. It will feature Jack and Kim taking on birds and cougars.
7. For the first time on 24, there is finally traffic in New York City. Apparently there is more traffic in New York City at 6:15AM then there is at 5PM.
8. President Taylor laying the smack down on Rob Weiss, next thing we get is the people's elbow? Note: The people's elbow is the coolest.
9. Alright all you 24 fans out there? Who do you hate more Agent Dana Walsh or Agent Hippe Janeane Garafalo from last season?
10. Along with a direct line to the President, Jack Bauer can also get into anybody's car in Manhattan and then drive away. Oh the perks of being THE GREATEST SECRET AGENT EVER! Yeah, I'm talking to you Bond and Bourne, stealing Jack's initials, thinking your all tough.
11. Damn Hasaan and Tarin are getting into it during this car ride. "You cared about the cover of TIME MAGAZINE!" Great stuff 24 writers.
12. Say what you want about Dana Walsh,  but the whole fake out with D Walsh going for the network wire kill on Arlo was damn suspenseful. Wow, I guess I'm an Arlo fan, when the hell did that happen?
13. What would Jack do without a nitro boost in his car. What is a nitro boost? Clearly you haven't seen "The Fast and the Furious", " 2 Fast 2 Furious," "The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift" "Fast and Furious", and the upcoming "Fast Five."
14. Jack Bauer gets cut off by a Honda Hybrid in the parking garage? How can green energy and hippies deter Jack Bauer? Is this some type of political message?
15. Pretty decent stunt with the car flying off the parking garage, but I have to subtract some points from the 24 writers because last season they had a car go flying out of a parking garage too.
16. A fellow CTU agent pointed out the woman who drove Hassan out of the parking structure looked a lot of Lady Gaga. Perhaps she can communicate on her telephone, yeah I'm sorry about that joke.
17. President Taylor knows not to trust some Ruskie who wants information about special operations. Hell Yeah! Wolverines! Wolverines!
18. CTU Director Hastings is up in his office texting away, I guess he's gotta keep those hos in line or check the status of his Shrimp business.
19. FPJ you had the best line of the season with your badass "Who are you? You lying bitch" but you're strange accent made it really hard to understand.
20. Alright alright so Jack got to confront Dana and it was slightly satisfying. But when it comes down to tough talking Jack, the highlight of this season was Jack telling the wanna be suicide bomber: "I'm going to take your Mother to the bomb site and expose her..."
21. Renne was totally aroused by the Jack manhandling Agent Walsh.
22. Hassan and the Samir Mehran (Who kind of looks like the Arab Will Schuester) do not only have competing belief systems, they have competing facial hair. On side evil we have the trimmed goatee, on side good we have the unkempt goatee. What's is going to be?
23. Everytime there is a scene in a hospital I always hope that Dr. House is going to show up for a quick cameo. That being said, while I like the show, I don't want those GLEE kids anywhere near 24.
24. Hassan's death is shocking and meaningful and that's a testament to the acting power of Anil Kapoor. Well done. Silent countdown. Great episode.

April 5, 2010

Summer Movie Smackdown: Clash of the Titans

Reader's Note: This is my new go to format for reviewing all the big ass summer popcorns movies that are coming out this Summer.

Director: Louis Leterrier
Starring: Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, and two smoking hot babes Gemma Arteron and Alexa Davalos.

Plot? - The Kraken, a big bastard water slug/demon/living turd is going to destroy the city of Argos in a week. The burden of saving the coastal paradis falls on demi-god Perseus (Sam Worthington), who really wants to kick ass, but not with any magic,
Reminds You Of?  -  A low budget Lord of the Rings. The combat isn't as vicious enough, the characters are terribly defined, and the special effects are cheesier than my legendary double layer smoked Gouda nachos... bro.
Ass Kicking Factor (AKF) - Disappointingly low. Director Louis Leterrier doesn't know how to stage epic action so none of the combat has any impact. Perseus's body count is wayyyy to low and he doesn't start really taking names til the last third of the flick. Not even one dude getting ripped in half or a scorpion attack can increase this portion of the film.
Oh Shit Moments (OSM) - Hmmm, a couple people get turned to stone by Medusa but the film lacks some really wild moments that make you cheer. This is a huge problem. I'd say the film has one part where Worthington gets all J Sully on a giant monster, but otherwise that's it.
Memorable Dialogue  - "I'll do this a man" and "If I do this, I do it as a man" and "Don't give super cool badass weapons from the Gods cause, I'm doing this as a man." This is the best line of the summer movie season so far. Every time someone asks you to do something, feel free to use it. Yo TPG, can you pass me the guacamole - "If I pass it to you, I'm doing it as a man!"
MOM Factor - Lower than you can ever imagine. The only thing that could convince your Mom would be a campaign Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes are both classically trained actors who they loved in mid 90's romantic dramas and this movie is somewhat similar because they're in it.
TPG Truth Drop - Sorry Titans/Gods, I can't give it. Maybe if you had Worthington riding on Taruk Mak To instead of a Pegasus, it would be a different story, but this is one action flick that never soars to the heavens to drink beyahs with the Gods, rather it's stuck in the underworld eating microwave dinner.

April 1, 2010

I'll be back in Boston tomorrow, so everyone have a great weekend. And if you're wondering what that picture above is: It's Nicolas Cage harnessing the power of Easter/Passover!

The Blind Sayid

Great Stuff For April Fools Day!
But is this a secret hint regarding character motivations, flash sideways timelines, and a Sandra Bullock guest spot on Lost? Perhaps Sayid gets his hands on Jesse James?

Jacobs Meet Lebowski

 I guess in a new episode Alpert is Lebowski in a flash sideways.
Props to the esteemed AJMATTERO for the tip

Trailer Mania: Action Fest 2010

The Expendables
If Valentines Day is the great ensemble romantic comedy of the year than "The Expendables" is the great ensemble action movie of the year. Jeez, I hope that action movie gods can forgive me for that statement, but if the trailer is any indication this movie looks beyond ridiculous. There doesn't seem to be a single piece of the movie that isn't over the top, from the cheesy music in the middle of the trailer, to the obligatory asian joke, and finally to the totally awesome narration of the whole thing. For me, as long as it stays rated R, this is the top action movie of the summer. I mean with a cast like this how can it not be the meatiest thing since sloppy joes with hot dogs and bacon.

The A-Team
Ahh, this one is a tough one, it's easy to see from the trailer that there a lot of wildly cool shit going on here. Briefly: we have tanks engaged in mid-air battles, high rise stunts, daring vehicle escapes, and Wikus Van De Merwe, but not fooocking prawns man! They need to have less jokes and more ass kicking if they really want to pack the house. Neeson needs to stop smiling and start getting back in Taken mode. "I told you I find you!" Whaaaaaat?

Angelina returns to the action genre and it looks like instead of curving bullets she is now just changing her hair color. Glad to see she is still adept at driving vehicles and jumping around like a female frog though. Could a return to the "Tomb Raider" franchise be next? As for the film, I think it could be a highly enjoyable political thriller like director Phillip Noyce's 90's classics "Patriot Games" and "Clear and Present Danger" or it could be another Angelina snooze fest like "Beyond Borders." I'll give it this, the concept of the whole mistaken identity thing is interesting, let's hope the rest of the film can ride it to action party town.

As long as this is R-Rated, this movie will probably be kick a lot of ass. Unlike the previous Predator outing AVP Requiem, which had a title similar to an opera for automobiles, this one has a solid cast. I totally buy Brody as a elite special forces Pianist (I mean maniac) and the whole concept is so simple, it will be hard for this movie to suck. Here's the formula: badass people get put on a badass planet hunted by badass intergalatic badasses with should mounted lasers. Done.

While not as hyped as the other movies above, this one deserves to be mentioned because director Neil Marshall has been silently making a name for himself as interesting director. Sure "Doomsday" was a mess, but it was a guilty pleasure of a mess. "The Descent" is a classic and "Dog Soldiers" is enjoyable as it's well. The movie looks like an extended version of the first third of Gladiator, which is a brutal part of the film that people often forget.