December 3, 2010

Life The Movie: Julian Assange

21st Century Outlaw

Julian Assange is living a movie. Come on, picture the scene, it's Washington, maybe a Sunday, the Redskins are playing, politicians are drinking swanky cognac and talking pawlitics and then someone gets a call. "The Wikileaks guy is putting all our of diplomatic cables on the internet!" "Got dayum Aussie hacker bastard!" Meanwhile, somewhere in his techno lair Assange drinks a swanky cognac and smiles.

It might not have gone down exactly like that, but can we take a second to comment on how crazy this wikileaks business is. On Sunday, he basically spilled the beans on all types of top secret documents, sending the international community into a chaotic apologetic/oh shit frenzy. Then two days later, Sweden issues an arrest warrant on him for sexual assault (is that because he just @#$!ed the world's politician's?). The following day his servers come under immense cyber attack and transfers them all to Amazon's cloud servers, but even this can't stop the people who wanna stop the leaks, so he has to switch up domains again. And now on Friday, wikileaks is forced to switch the game up again, moving his servers to that great neutral state, Switzerland. As for Assange, he gave a press conference recently, even though he's technically a fugitive. For a great timeline of wikileaks insanity, check out this link here.

News stories like this get my imagination churnin and burnin. An international hacker fugitive who whereabouts are unknown, are you serious? This is like "Enemy of the State" combined with "Mercury Rising" mixed in with 70's paranoia thrillers with a side of "Hackers" and a sprinkling of "The Net" and some trace elements of "24."

But wait, there's more! More! In the words of Men In Black, there's morrah. Apparently Assange is going to reveal the UFO DOCUMENTS soon.  When that happens either, it won't happen because the Men In Black themselves will stop him or he will reveal that the UFO documents is actually a wonderfully drawn version of his family tree.

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