June 16, 2010

Summer Movie Smackdown: The A-Team a.k.a. The Bro Team

Director: Joe Carnahan
Starring: Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Quinton "Rampage" Jackson, Sharlto Copley, Jessica Biel, and a ultra-hilarious Patrick Wilson

Plot? - God is a bro and he had four Bro sons: all maniac badass soldiers - Hannibal, Face, B.A. Baracus, & Murdock. These soldiers who are magically all united in one epically long credits sequence. get together and over the course of two hours on film do great bro things like, blow shit up, fight bad guys, sex up chicks, fly tanks through the air, and everything else in between.

Reminds You Of?  -  Hmm, it's a posse at war flick so it's in the realm of broaction action movies like "The Guns of Navarone," "The Wild Bunch," "Predator," and even "Sneakers." And actually, the presence of a wise cracking Bradley Cooper really reminded me of "The Hangover". In fact, the movie is a lot more enjoyable if you imagine that Cooper's character is the same one from "The Hangover" and Neeson is playing his character from "Taken." 

Ass Kicking Factor (AKF) - Bro, if a flying tank doesn't kick-ass I don't know what does. But besides that constantly mentioned tank flying, there is some pretty cool ass kicking action in terms of sheer mayhem. However the film lacks strong fight design and that lowers the ass-kicking factor. What is good fight design? Check out this clip below

Oh Shit Moments (OSM) - Too much is given away in the trailer. BA Baracus, the strongest of the bro-squad does gets the only real OSM in the whole film with a pretty fresh MMA inspired move. But in general, I would be saying "Oh Shit" to a lot of stuff here, but I already said it when I saw it in the trailer.

Memorable Dialogue  - Sharlto Copley, who plays "Mad Murdock" in the film will be familiar to audiences from his star-making turn in "District 9,"  really steals the show. Everything he says in the movie is hilarious. I'm not sure if one of the 11 writers wrote this dialogue for him or he made it up, but he is the brightest spot in the whole film. Also Patrick Wilson, who's usually a serious dramatic actor, has a really money line comparing real life violence to "Call of Duty" which is both funny and disturbing at the same time.

MOM Factor - Most Moms I know were raising kids in the 80's not watching the show. And most Mom's I know don't really line up en mass for violent action films. So I'd have to say, that the audience MOM factor comes in very very low. The Bro factor  on the other hand is very very high, so high, I thought someone was going to get iced.

TPG Truth Drop -The best part of the ensemble action film is when someone on the team makes a sacrifice for everyone else. See below for an example

Bro grabs a huge-ass machine gun and loads a massive clip into it. He lights his cigar and kisses his dog tags. He is bleeding from a wound in his leg, but he doesn't care.

Bro: You guys go ahead, I'm going to remind these assholes that they missed their appointment with Rosie@

Bro Friend: Are you mad, come on I'll carry you outta heyah!

Bro looks at the waves of infantry coming his way and starts to smile

Bro: You go Bro Friend, go back to your family and your picket fences, I belong here, on the battlefield, with Rosie!

Bro kisses his gun, this is Rosie, the love of his life. Bro Friend runs away and Bro starts firing.
The A-Team is so clearly set up for a sequel that no character makes a sacrifice at all and the entire film is ruined for it. In other words, there are no stakes, we know no one is going to die, because they all need to live on to fight more in summer 2013 (Note, I have no idea if a sequel is coming). So that's it, A-Team is just alright, I saw it, yeah, but now that I did, there is only one action movie left to see:

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