June 4, 2010

Reality Check: Splice, Get Him To The Greek, Marmaduke, Killers


Splice & Marmaduke
Reality Check says that these movies are pretty damn real. Animal-Human cross breeding is legal in England, don't believe me check it out here. Scientists have been mixing and matching genes for a long time (Napoleon Dynamite's Liger - totally real) so most of the science purported in the film is happening. As for Adrian Brody and Sarah Polley playing scientists, let's just say that I buy Brody as a scientist more than I buy him as a badass in this summer's Predators. I'm just kidding Broooooo-dy, I think you're going to be great in Predators. Also how much better would Marmaduke be, if the reason he could talk was genetically engineering? Marmaduke as a dark horror movie? Hell Yeah!

Get Him To The Greek - History has proven that Rock Stars are morally depraved creatures, that although they are not genetically engineered, they are wild beasts. Rampant drug use, wild sex, and face melting guitar solos are scientifically proven to occur when they are roaming in the wild. This movie is real. Puff Daddy as a mogul-real. Russel Brand as sex maniac- see Katy Perry. Johah Hill as a funny fat dude determined to break out of supporting roles-true.

Nothing about this movie is remotely real. Ashton is not buyable as a contract killer, the only thing he's good at is tweeting. Heigl is not a killer either, her only crime is starring in a movie with Gerard Butler which was not an action movie thus contributing to Butler's steady decline from the ass-kicking 300 to sappy romantic comedies. Jesus, Butler, the action world needs you.

Next Week: A-Team!

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