May 6, 2010

Twas The Night Before Iron Man

Twas the night before Iron Man, when all through the land
The fan boys were stirring, making costumes by hand.
The tickets were pre-ordered weeks ahead with care,
In hopes that the credit card didn't mess up when they got there.

The fanboys were nestled all snug in their seats,
While hopes of Tony and Rhodey bringing the heat.
And Tony in red and yellow, Rhodey and black and gray,
Soon Iron Man 2 would be coming out our way.

When out on the lobby there arose such a clatter,
I ran from the theatre to see what was the matter.
Spilling my popcorn I ran like the flash,
Tore open the shutters hoping it wasn't Whip-Lash.

The moon on the breast of the Arc Light lobby
Everyone in costume, damn we need a new hobby.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a brand new Mach IV suit, hovering o' so near.

It landed quick with so much of a spark,
I knew in a moment it must be Tony Stark.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Ant-Man! Now, War-Machine! Now, Black Widow and Thor!
On, Hulk! On, Fury! on, on Captain America and more!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now Avengers Assemble! Avengers Assemble! Assemble now all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the parking-lot the coursers they flew,
It was Iron Man us and now, oh what we would do.

And then, in a clanking, the face plate came up
Tony Stark asked for a drink and said what's up.
I pulled a Keystone, so smooth and so clear,
Tony looked at me, and said, Iron Man don't drink no beer!

He was dressed all in iron, from his head to his toes,
Get me some whiskey! He said I wanna share it with my bros.
A bundle of weapons had been added to his suit,
And had blasters in his hands, and weapons in his boot.

His eyes flittered! Looking crazily about!
Face plate dropped down, and he said watch out!
Through the ceiling game Vanko with his electro whips
They snapped crackled and popped and Whiplash licked his lips.

I thought I finished you in the film, Stark said with a smile
Randy The Ram, I mean Whiplash laughed like an evil chil'.
Right there in the lobby they engaged in a brawl,
Real life super heroes battling for the enjoyment of all!

Just when it looked like Iron Man was in trouble,
He pushed a button and War Machine arrived on the double!
The shoulder cannon made quick work of the Russian,
With Vanko out of commission, the theatre was bustlin' .

Tony Stark lifted his hands just like at the Expo,
Free popcorn, candy, and booze for all, come now lets go.
And with expert coordination came his assistant Miss Potts,
And what a surprise also came Natasha in her leopard spots!

We went to theatre, to view the film on the screen,
Stark pointed out it's good to be back, he's living the dream.
Up came a roar and out when the light,
"Hell Yeah! Iron Man 2 Tonight!"

So some of my rhythms and rhymes are off, but just like Tony in Iron Man, I had to work with what I had. He had spare parts in a cave, I had ye old Christmas poem and two hours. Just wait for the Avengers poem. I'll be giving you the whole Iambic pentameter.


  1. Looks like someone needs a refresher on their anapestic metric scheme

  2. One of my favorite posts of 2010!!!!
    I love the rhymes! Love, Mom