March 17, 2010

SMP's LOST Compass: Recon

Alright folks, here we are mid-week of TPG's vacation and guest blogging adventure. Today, I'm here to deliver my own version of the now legendary (and weekly) LOST Compass. I'm going to try my best to follow format but as a warning, I'm going to be more negative about the show than this blog has ever allowed. Let's get after it:

1. For me this season of LOST has been a pretty large disappointment and last night's ep was nothing new. I've grown tired of the writer's failed attempts to keep the viewers riveted. I remember how many times I rolled my eyes during the classic S05E06 "316" where The Lamp Post station is introduced and Eloise Hawking mills around science experiments and acts like she knows what she's talking about. Now I'd give anything for that kind of mystery, and this, friends is a very depressing statement.
2. What is with these new characters being introduced with 9 episodes left of one of the most enthralling character dramas television has ever had? Most of the time the show has been successful because of the interesting storylines and backstories of the core members of the original flight (Losties) and their entanglements on the island with The Others. It's clear now that while the writers claim to have "mapped out" everything from the start, they inadvertently or foolishly, used up all their best storylines by about halfway through season 3 or maybe 4. The result? Introducing characters in the final season of a show that begs to be wrapped up nicely. Let's cut the bull on this one: I'd trade 1,000,000 Dogen episodes for 10 seconds of screen time for Juliet again.
3. Where is Desmond?
4. Claire is out of control. We've seen her on a roller coaster ride of emotions before: "I love you Charlie..." [5 mins later] "I hate you Charlie!", but at least before we could blame it on the pregnancy. Now it seems she's gotten even crazier. Nice how Flocke/Smokey/Samuel (presumed to be the cause of her current paranoia) made a point of mentioning this to Kate as if it were some great reveal: "I had mommy issues, and now Aaron has a crazy mom too."
5. What a TERRIBLE final line of the episode. It seemed to sum up how I feel about the season and where the show is at right now in general. Kate asks, but how can we get off the island if we don't have someone to fly the plane? Sawyer responds, easy freckles, we take the nuclear sub instead. WHAT? Translation: But Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof, how can we make sense of the complex, all-encompassing philosophical exercise that is LOST? Easy, viewers, we create an entirely different complex and all encompassing philosophical mindf*** to distract you from the fact that neither makes any sense. TITLE CARD. Don't be surprised when the final scene of the series is something that completely distracts you from all the hard work and thought process you've put into something that doesn't, and will never, add up.
6. Charles Widmore so easily led on by Sawyer? I DON'T THINK SO. When Flocke/Smokey/Samuel arrives on the Hydra, expect things to get violent with newly introduced characters from this season biting the dust left and right 24-style.
7. Where is DESMOND?
8. How will Jack and Hurley tie into all of this? Are they still off wandering around the island looking for impossibly large landmarks that were never evident at any other point during the series despite how large they are? Jack and Hurley are an odd combo. Jack doesn't have a sense of humor and Hurley's only purpose in life is to make light of a given situation. The sooner they get back to some sort of group dynamic, the less awkward the writing will have to be for them.
10. The last point I want to make is about the scenes from the next LOST trailer. Even before this season began, I was made aware of the episode that is coming next week. Rumor spread about a Richard Alpert centric episode and I won't lie that the promise of receiving so many answers is intoxicating. We all agreed upon seeing the trailer: next week is a make or break for LOST. If a Richard Alpert centric episode isn't the headiest, most mind-numbing, geek-out, LOST fan-boy FREAKFEST of all time, there's no hope for the show. Many believe Alpert to be the key to numerous theories and explanations on and off the island... the question is, whether the writers decide to give us LOST-dogs a bone, or continue to spoil the gourmet feast that LOST once was by dicking us around yet again. I'll be praying every night to the egyptian Gods of Jacob's past that they decide to deliver on a promise they made years ago by introducing such a mysterious and AWESOME character like Alpert.

**** PLEASE NOTE ****
All opinions and aforementioned theories are spun from the mind of DJ Steve, co-author of the wildly successful, world-famous Lifting Fog Blog. Please do not send TPG any hate mail, at least none regarding LOST. Thank you!

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