January 29, 2009

What is this doing on CNN?

This dude quit his marching band after he got suspended for nodding at Obama during the big Inauguration parade. That's tough, but the bigger question is why is this on cnn? I mean there are some real issues currently on the frying pan, so why is CNN getting involved in marching band politics.

January 28, 2009

Not ready for the Seagal Plunge Yet.

A couple of weeks ago I posted about how I wanted to get into Steven Seagal movies. It is with great sadness that I report back to you and say that certain things (new president, Jack Bauer, and Lost) got in the way and delayed my quest to understand the zen art of being Seagal. However yesterday, perhaps in an omen, this little video was sent to me. I have to say it has re-kindled the fire that burns in my action movie loving soul to understand this last great action star from the 80's.

January 26, 2009

24 Points About 24: Hour 6

1. It's a good thing Buchanan knows how to do CPR when the rest of a body is covered in dirt.
2. These have to be the first terrorists ever to cruise around in yellow ice cream truck
3. Not only was the terrorist dude that Tony smoked a evil mastermind, he was a brilliant psychological mastermind capable of helping Tony cope with the loss of his wife.
4. Adam Levine RIP, you had a good run of supermodels, brilliant appearances on rap singles, and mad love from supermodels.
5. Renee the FBI agent get's blasted in the neck and gets a band aid, of course this is 24, and it has happened before (season 3, Tony got blasted in the neck, and shrugged it off like the mack that he is).
6. "If you're looking for forgiveness, go to hell," damn that's an intense line.
7. Big ups to Mutobo's wife for being a strong female character. Between her, The President and Agent Renee Walker, they're building a coalition that would make feminist scholars proud.
8. Why is Dubaku calling up some aide's cell phone. "The time for demands is over, and I got your number off facebook, step your privacy game up"
9. I would have thought that the mid air plane collision would have been more dramatic.
10. Talk about a reunion, "sorry we had to keep you in the dark," yeah, it's pretty damn dark when you're buried alive that's fo sho.
11. Tracking chips that you can implant on your teeth, damn now I know why I had braces for 5 years, those braces were a tracking chip.
12. The death of the black haired girl was one of the most violent deaths, no I take that back, that was the most violent death of 24 ever. It was very real, not cartoonish at all, compared to that vampire bite last season.
13. Bringing The Heat: verb, when Jack Bauer uses a sniper rifle the size of a 8th grader to ice fools.
14. This episode was completely lacking annoying Janeane Garafalo (name is impossible to spell by the way) and it was all the better because of it.
15. How you going to dangle those motorcycles in front of our eyes and then not let Jack use them?
16. By far the best episode of the season, if not one of the best ever. It had great drama, tension, and some classic, I'm going to blast you in the throat moments.
17. Jack looked at Mutumbo's wife and was like "yeah they're going to torture you, and trust me I'm like a professor at torture, and I'm still here."
18. Extremely well written speech by the President to the join chiefs of staff about why she is continuing to pursue the action in Sangala. Cherry Jones is a brilliant actress.
19. Bad guys like the color green, you take one look at their evil server complex and you realize that these guys are still looking at simple green screen graphics. Come on terrorists, step your graphic display game up. What type of system are you guys working with, looks like they're working on Apple II's
20. The President asking for resignation is the equivalent of Jack Bauer torturing people, it's used way to often.
21. Now this one is a little silly, and complaining about time structure on 24 is slippery slope, but think about this. The first time we saw the first idiot (I mean husband) was about 44 minutes into the episode. Since we saw golden boy pyscho secret service agent was walking around with that at the end of last week, that means he had the blade equipped for 44 minutes doing nothing.
22. Did those planes really crash or was it a cover up by Mr. Widmore, who's secretly searching for the Island's location? Sorry I couldn't resist.
23. Why did the terrorists pick that small town to destroy? I mean what are the odds. Actually the odds are 1/25,375. Check it out here.
24. The showdown between Jack and the head badguy is going to be epic. Will it involve a battle with wrenches and hanging and a one liner, that I'm not sure about.

January 25, 2009

Defiance: A Movie About Surviving

Man, way back in the day, I posted the trailer for "Defiance" and proclaimed that it was going to be fresher than ripe tomatoes. Well, I watched it yesterday and man, was I wrong, this is a movie that is only about survival. It's not about badass jews killing nazis. It's not about Daniel Craig being a badass and bringing the pain. And it's definitely not the epic film that Ed Zwick, the director of "Blood Diamond" and "The Last Samurai"(CLICK THAT LINK FOR NINJAS!! BADASS NINJAS) promised in the trailer. So if it is not all those things, then, simply put, what is it?

It's a movie about a whole bunch of people living in the woods for a long time. There's characters, but they're a little hard to figure out cause they switch up their accents more often than D. Craig switches jackets in the film which is a lot. If anything the movie got me psyched up for Liev Schrieber in "Wolverine" and Daniel Craig in "James Bond Kills Everything That Moves" or whatever crazy title the next bond film is.

Stay tuned for 24 tomorrow.

January 22, 2009

Lost Has Gone To The Geeks

"Lost", aka the best show on TV returned last night, and it did not disappoint. I don't really want to make thislalife a Lost Fanboy geekfest, so I'll just say this, "Lost" is officially impossible to pick up if you're not an obsessive fanboy combing over every detail (like me). For example, last night a character showed up at the end who had not been seen since Season 3. And not only that she was only in one episode in Season 3, and it that episode she was in a flashback. I mean if that's not obscure, I don't know what is. It some ways it's cool the writers are now just rolling deep with the fanboys, but this alienation of causual viewers can't make the average "I'm going to see what all the hype is about happy.

January 21, 2009

Obama Can Save Us If The Aliens Ever Attack

While watching the extremely moving Inauguration ceremonies yesterday, I could hardly think about anything except how amazing the whole day was. The crowds were bigger than anything I had ever seen and the whole thing just seemed so damn majestic. It occurred to me that Life for once has delivered something so moving and spectacular that it couldn't be captured on film. That whole plane landing in the Hudson, amazing, yes, but it was too Hollywood. But Obama, giving the speech of a lifetime in front of 2 million people, Hollywood can't deliver emotions like that.

But after it faded and I was at home snacking on some peanut butter cups watching Transformers, it occurred to me. If Aliens were to ever attack our planet (aka The USA, cause Aliens never attack anywhere else), Obama would be the guy I would want to deliver the speech about getting off your ass and fighting the intergalatic menace. Why this crazy thought occured to me is beyond me. Maybe that's what happens when you're living thislalife.

January 19, 2009

24 Points about 24 Hour 5

1. "I need to make this right" is the new catchphrase for 24.
2. A phone call from the F.B.I. literally saves the aide's day, how convenient that he had that nice caller ID. He probably also has caller ID for the CIA, NSA, and the JLA.
3. Gotta be the first scene where two spies were in a kitchen and one of em said "grab those bowls."
4. Why didn't Adam Levine from Maroon 5 get a guest star credit as part of the terrorist team.
5. For a president who is in the midst of a national crisis, President Taylor spends a lot of time writing in books in her office.
6. There are some serious love triangles going down in that FBI office. Renee's boss difference wants her, the nerdy/evil analyst is "programing" on the hot blonde aide, and who knows how Janeane Garofalo fits into the mix.
7. The secret service agent guy has a super nice pad for a secret service agent's pay.
8. This show makes me so paranoid about government agents, if anybody even shows up to me and asks to put me in "protective custody", I'd be like hell nah.
9. The annoying liberal buercrat who hampers the tortous operation of government agency in the middle of a crisis is a classic 24 character.
10. I'm surprised that the show has not done getting buried alive before. Either way that was one of the darkest episodes I have ever seen.
11. True 24 fanboys (is that me?) are probably going nuts over the use of the silent countdown this early in the season and for a new character.
12. The whole show is feeling much more focused on drama and storytelling than huge action set-pieces. Truthfully I'm enjoying the show as a gripping suspense ride, but kind of longing for some epic action set pieces.
13. The person who identified Agent Walker getting kidnapped could not identify the van?
14. If Jack can cook up death gas in a kitchen, think of what he is capable of cooking up in peace time.
15. The President's husband has got to be one of the biggest rookies on the show. Shady apartment, brooding security guard taking you there, come on see the signs.
16. That being said, I like how fast the plotline with the President's dead son is moving.
17. Nerve paralyzers will get you each time, always gotta watch out for them
18. That whole scene in the apartment was very Hitchcock, lots of strange angles, and jarring edits. The whole imagery of the guy with the gloves on, the knife, all very terrifying.
19. CIP module is the new buzzword, whenever there is traffic on the highway, it's cause those damn terrorists are hacking the grid with the CIP module.
20. How Bauer managed to shoot the FBI agent and not kill her is a testament to his skills as both as expert marksman and a as masterful anatomy student.
21. Tony doesn't talk that much, he mainly looks at Jack with this look like "damn, you're still one crazy ass mofo"
22. That aide outside the panic room who was "ready to die for Sangala" is Yemi from Lost, just thought you should know.
23. How many Executive producers does 24 have, count next time, you'll be surprised.
24. A great character episode that kept the season rolling.

How many times can a pick axe hit you in the face?

No matter how many times it happens, things flying off the screen never ever get's old. Watching this "movie" I was just constantly waiting for the next 3D effect to make me scream. It didn't matter if it was seeing a girl run around naked for 5 minutes (which is a long ass time) or if it was watching some eyeball got popped out of some nerd's face, the 3D effect was worth it.

The story in the film is as simple as they come: an evil coal miner stalks hot co-ed in a small mining town. He wears a creepy mask, breathes like Darth Vader and has one headlight on his forehead.

I guess with Obama bringing change to America, the movies are going to start to change as well. My Bloody Valentine is one of the first 3D movies, of 2009, but it is not the last. "Monsters Vs Aliens", "Final Destination 4", and James Cameron's epic "Avatar" are all coming out this year in the format.

The only problem with 3D is that things can pop out at you over and over again, and it takes a long time to get tired of it. Yet, I can not help but hope that in time the 3D effect of the "pop out" will feel dated and the true uses of the medium can put to effect. What those artistic uses are, I'm not sure, but they probably don't involve naked babes and evil psycho miners.

January 15, 2009

The Fast and Furious Never Gets Old

Man, I saw "The Fast and Furious" at a ghetto movie theater where only one guy was working. Seriously he was selling popcorn, hawking tickets, and starting up the film all at the same time. I didn't pay to see it, just walk in. Either way, I'm glad they got everybody back together for the new one. Will I see it? Maybe? Will it be full of crash banging eye popping Jordana Brewster is banging crazy action guns blazing showdowns? Yes, yes it will.

January 13, 2009

Batmobile for Sale

Yesterday it was reported on "Deadline Hollywood Daily" that Warner Brothers is selling off furniture. First off, when you have a movie make 1 billion bones (The Dark Knight), why are you selling furniture? Then I realized they are probably in the yard sale business because they gotta raise money for the Batman Sequel. Either way, if you're trying to raise some cash, there is only one thing that can elevate the cash supply and solve the problems of the auto industry: Batmobiles.

If they just sold off some of these suckers, their fortunes would rise. Anybody with one of these on the road would literally be a knight among serfs. Think about Warner Brothers.

24 Points on 24

1. It is bizarre seeing Jack in any city besides LA. It's like Superman outside of Metropolis, or Batman outside of Gotham.
2. The coat that Jack is wearing above makes him look like Inspector Gadget, but not the kind Go Go Gadget, but the badass, I'm going jab this pen in your ear Gadget.
3. Speaking of pen in ear, in case you were wondering, that actor was in "Gladiator" and the action classic "Face/Off"
4. Jack's little gymnastics vault from ship to crate to Tony's body was a nice ode to the Olympics, perhaps it was the 24 writers snubbing Chinese gymnastics
5. Chloe vs Janeane Garofalo nerd battle was cool for about 35 seconds, then it became: wait a second this is a nerd battle, where is Jack?
6. No matter what the Government building, there are always dimly lit rooms with servers that can be tampered with.
7. The writing on this show has drastically improved. The scene in the basement where Jack iced those rookie henchman to convince the big boss man that he is "evil" was tense and well scripted.
8. Bauer Count has only one recorded kill for Jack, guess that means Jack is the maiming business now. I'm not worried, it's all coming.
9. In the opening of the series, the filming technique where the camera is inside a car when it gets rammed is getting a little old. But having it ram it again, that was fresh.
10. Where's Tony's soulpatch? If you don't know way back in the day, when Tony was Jack's best buddy, he had this dope "soul patch" on his chin.
11. That was the easiest explanation for coming back from the dead I've ever heard. Yeah, I was dead but then they swooped in and injected me and I'm back.
12. What ever happened to Karen Hayes, Bill Buchanan's wife?
13. Speaking of Bill, dude is looking straight badass, in fact he's looking more badass than Jack, I'm not sure if that's a good thing?
14. Who is babysitting Chloe's baby? It's Kim Bauer
15. How many times are they going to show us The Capitol building to remind us that the season now takes place in DC, not LA.
16. I like how the story is acknowledging the torture element is a problem, ie, we can't cross that line. And then they cross it anyway.
17. The mole inside the FBI is the hot FBI agent, I just have a hunch.
18. If she is not the mole she is going to be iced pretty soon.
19. Are Buchanan and Chloe working out of a Castle?
20. The male nerd in the FBI who Janeane is always hating on is the director from Entourage, if you were wondering
21. Can't wait for the showdown between Jack and that evil African maniac that burned his face in Redemption
22. Why, must the President's spouse in 24 always have a Dirty Harry complex?
23. When Jack is undercover with the terrorists and he's blasting his gun at everybody, is he shooting to kill? If so does this mean Bauer has gone rogue?
24. How good is it to have this show back? Makes me forget all about "Heroes."

January 11, 2009

Clint Eastwood: The Badass Remains

"Gran Torino" opened at the top of box office this weekend with 29 million dollars. Considering that Clint is 78 years old, this display of box office power is astounding. But I don't think that many 78 year old folks are flocking to the movies these days. I think people wanted to see Gran Torino because they wanted to see one of the only American badasses do his thing on the silver screen.

The badass is a beast struggling for survival. Arnold turned to politics, Van Damme turned meta, Seagal went off the deep end, and Stallone exists in his own hyper violent world. Yet in thislalife, Eastwood alone remains the classic badass both in his roles on film and in real life.

I had the pleasure of meeting the guy while working in LA, and he only spoke four words to me ("what's up kid" & "Thanks kid). In real life and in the movies he's always taking names and meaning business. And one can deny that there are no real badass American actors to take his place*. Christian Bale, he's welsh. Daniel Craig, he's not American. Hugh Jackman, he's an Aussie. I guess all we have is Will Smith, but he's busy selling of his body parts.

So Clint, keep doing what you do.

*Keifer Sutherland is approaching badass status.

January 10, 2009

Saturday Nerd Post: Is This the best Rock Band 2 Song Ever?

Weekend greetings. This song was recently showed to me in Rock Band 2, and I gotta say, it's um, pretty strange, borderline creepy, and wildly silly. So in other ways, it's amazing. I've enjoyed playing it, but then again, on Saturday's I'm a nerd.

January 8, 2009

Friday Movies: The Unborn

Opening this week is "The Unborn" starring this hot babe-brah-ham-Lincoln Odette Yustman, Gary Oldman, aka the psycho dude from "The Professional", and that little kid from Hancock and those annoying insurance ads. This movie looks scary, but I gotta say, it has literally every cliche from every horror movie ever. Let's run through the laundry list for a second. Based off the trailer we have:

Evil Kids who hang out alone.
Exorcism in any forms
People with wierd faces, or dogs with upside down heads (WTF?)
Things (hands, heads, hot-dogs) popping out of walls
Guys in big raincoats with knives

I mean the list just keeps on going. Either way, people like being scared, it helps cope with the frightening times. I personally won't be seeing "The Unborn", I'm holding out for "My Bloody Valentine" in 3D, which I anticipate to be more wild than my dreams (which are looney).

January 7, 2009

Breaking News: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince rated PG??

According to this article, the new Harry Potter flick is going to be rated PG. The previous entries "Order of the Phoenix" and "Goblet of Fire" were PG-13. Considering Harry Potter does a curse that rips Draco's chest in half in this book, I'm saying this means this movie could potentially be as bad as Percy's O.W.L. scores (double joke, ahhh, Zing!).

January 6, 2009

Taking The Steven Seagal Plunge

I woke up today I realized that I have not seen more than two Steven Seagal movies. I've seen "Under Siege" and one of the many movies he did with DMX, but after that, nothing. And you know what, this bothers me.

Granted, Seagal has a reality TV show, sings blue music, and sells energy drinks, he still was an action icon of badassery on par with Stallone, Van Damme, and Ahnuld.

So I've decided to bump all those Seagal movies to the top of the netflix que, and get serious about this forgotten action star. Yeah, I will say he is forgotten because this dude hasn't a big screen flick in years. For a man that once took out a bunch of evil Spanish dudes with a machete, he's gotta get back on that silver screen.

So, I guess I'm taking the plunge into a world of Seagal. I'll report back with my findings, hopefully they will make me forget those flicks with the X Man.

Update: Check out the trailer for his new flick:

January 5, 2009

Is it lame to be excited for Monsters Vs Aliens

At one point in my life I had a choice between "No Country For Old Men" and "Beowulf" in 3D. I know "No Country" is amazing and has some pretty serious action, but I just could not say no to that whole "I am ripper, I am slasher, teeth in the night, I'm the ultimate badass" speech. So, friendo I saw Grendel get owned in 3D. The movie kind of sucked, but the 3D was exciting and fresh. And now I see this "Monsters Vs. Aliens" trailer and I can't help but feel jazzed up.

I mean, there are some good laughs in the trailer, are they stupid laughs, yeah, but most laughs are stupid. But let us not forget that Dreamworks Animation, the studio, making this film brought us "Shrek" and "Kung Fu Panda," two awesome animated features.

People who whine about 3D glasses need to relax. Millions of people wear glasses every day, and get along with life just fine. So what is the problem with wearing coold "Back to the Future part 2" shades for 2 hours so you can marvel at the silver screen.

Could it suck? Yeah it could, but if this film get's one good review, I'll be there opening day.

Wrestling with the emotions of the wrestler

When I got out of "The Wrestler," I felt that every new years resolution I had for 2009 was going to bleed to death in front of my eyes. Never has a movie been this relentlessly depressing. I mean "Mystic River" is a downer, but at least that had more than three good performances. "The Wrestler" is just one man ruining his life, and I gotta say, Mickey Rourke is as good as the hype says.

But still what right does this film have to make me feel so depressed? When I see a film I want to cheer, punch the dude next to me, stuff my pie hole with popcorn, guzzle Coke-O-Cola, and eat Sour Patch kid watermelons. I don't want to be reminded of the the things in my life that suck.

But after the depression faded after viewing the films (couple rock band sessions took care of it), I realized that the film is remarkable. I guess it's OK that the film made me feel like I just witnessed the death of 1,000 puppies, because in the end, the film was unforgettable. Rourke's performance has stuck with me, and the direction is simple yet perfect. Check it out, just don't call when you're crying and hate your life. Give it a couple days, then call me up, we can play some "Rock Band"