December 2, 2009

Steven Seagal Lawman: And Why The WWF Should Be More Powerful

Nothing gets Steven Seagal excited like mix and matching human appendages into strange positions. Take this poor fellow above, looks like he's a victim of Steven making a modern art piece of human arms. And don't want to share the rest of the images, but let's just say I've seen Steven Seagal do some  things with fingers, toes, and kneecaps, that you can't possibly fathom. But all arm twisting aside, are people aware that Steven has a new TV show where he is a cop? Let me clarify, he is not playing a cop, no, he really is a cop, apparently he's been one for 20 years.

That being said, if the reviews of the show are to be believed, apparently Steven is not snapping fingers like chicken bones or ripping out throats (wait, that was Swayze) on the show. Which brings me to the question of the decade? Why the hell is Steven Seagal not snapping fingers like chicken bones and ripping out throats on his TV SHOW?

The reason? I'll tell you the reason.  When it comes to "reality" TV shows like this, the wrong people are calling the shots. The person who needs to be calling the shots is none other than Vince McMahon, the mastermind of the WWE. This is a dude who virtually invented "reality" television, so therefore I'm sure he could make Mr. Seagal's show a hell of lot cooler. And what is cooler? Check out this classic Seagal scene below.

And by the way, if I seem a little crazy today, it's because I still have not recovered from the mind melt of the Iron Man 2 poster.

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