Whiz Bang POWWW Gadgets
Ninjas! Ninjas! Ninjas!
Cool Special Effects (or so it appears)
I'm just kidding about that last one, but you see like on paper it sounds like it would be right up my alley. When I try to process why I didn't see it at midnight I think back to the words of a wise old prophet in Hollywood
"Son, once you get out of the demographic, nothing's the same."
Damn, that wise old sage with maroon beard was correct, I'm out of the demo for G.I. Joe. It's strange this feeling of growing up, but I think it's natural.