December 31, 2008

The Best Things That Did Not Make It On To Anybody Else's Best List

Everyone has got a list of the best of 2008, and yeah I think "Wall-E" was an amazing fable for the dangers of consumerism too. "Dear Science" by the TV On the Radio is an dazzling album and "Grand Theft Auto" is the best game of the year. But there was a lot more of 2008 than that, so here is my list of the things that did not make the other lists.

1. "You Don't Mess with the Zohan"- Yeah, it's stupid, what, did I clarify that, this movie is stupid. However, once you realize it's not "Milk" and you let go and go for the ride, you'll probably laugh. I happen to think Adam Sandler dancing to disco, cooking fish, eating hummus, being a professional hacky sack player, and and catching bullets in his nose is funny.
2. "The Strangers"- There is a scene in this movie where creepy strangers in masks are breaking into a house, records are skipping, and a young attractive couple is screaming in fear. Of course in the theater I was yelling and clinging onto my popcorn bucket like it was a life preserver and I was floating in the ocean. Otherwise, the movie is average, but that one scene. In the words of the pregnant mexican lady behind me, "ahhhh hellll no."
3. Young Jeezy's "The Recession"- Yeah, he is not rapping about social change or blowing your mind with word play. But whatever, Young Jeezy is a huge guilty pleasure because he raps about everything that you are supposed to hate about rap (guns, drugs, money, women) and makes it sound awesome. And if there isn't a cooler song about Obama then "My President is Black", then I don't know. "My President is Black, my Lambo's blue"
4. Obama Brushes Dirt Off His Shoulder- Yeah the other speeches made me cry, but no other speech gave such a clear message as "yeah, I am not only be the change the world needs, but I'm also cool enough to listen to Jay-Z"
5. "Wanted"- In the end, after the rats blow up the castle, the heavy metal starts pumping, James McCavoy, who is now the chosen badass warrior guy, busts through the glass and blasts so many people he can open his own dynamite factory. Yeah, no plot, no story, just action.
6. The Foot Fist Way- This movie is more quotable than Obama, yeah, I said it. Don't believe me, watch this movie. "I don't believe in belts."

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