November 12, 2008

Waterworld Strikes Again

I recently caught about 20 minutes of this flick on cable and it got me thinking. Is "Waterworld" the shit? Or is it just shitty? I'll make the case for both.

Waterwold sucks ass compared to classic Costner movies like "Dances with Wolves" and "The Untouchables." The fact that people are surviving on this world of agua makes no sense.
Where are they getting their fuel from? What are they snacking on besides sushi? How exactly does that machine that turns pee to water work? Where are they getting their supplies? Why is everyone dirty if the world's biggest bathtub is constantly around them? Questions like this riddle the movie with holes, but chances are you didn't think about it, because the story was so damn stupid.

The Shit
Evil pirates drive jet skis. Look at that sentence, it probably made some producer in pre-production meetings smile cunningly. Everything in the flick is super dope. The MacGyver like boat that Costner drives, so damn fly. The scene where he takes the chick down to New York on a date to get dirt, so ridiculously smooth. The end, where they survive a "Waterworld" only to find land that looks exactly like "Jurassic Park", so damn meta (all blockbusters are connected man) All of it combines for a campy flick that is not to be forgotten.

The Verdict: Waterworld like Kevin Costner himself, just exists. It's not bad, it's not good, it's just there, popping up n cable to remind you that it was made, and at the time is was dope. However, it also reminds you of how stupid it is. It's like Costner, every now and then he has a movie come out, and people are like, oh damn, he's kind of cool, but then they don't go the movie*.

*Except Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, that movie is ill, not sick

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