November 18, 2008

Sport The Iguana (Coolest Pet Ever)

B Did's Bob Blake and I were the first to find Sport outside of the cage. My older brother (the one who had taken the cage outside) was lounging in the hammock and did not notice that our Iguana had escaped. We lowered out SS100 (Super Soakers, and such a screwed up ad) and approached the green pet with caution, yet our footsteps were like thunderbolts to his Iguana hearing.

Once he was on the run, B Dids, my brothers, and about six other neighborhood kids were in on the chase. We used the following items with no success.
1. Buttefly Net- Distinitgrated on contact
2. Lettuce trap- He ate the lettuce and kept running
3. SS 200- Did seem to mind the pressurized water blast
4. Water Balloons- Could withstand the water.

After all this, Sport climbed up a three story White Pine, chilled out for about 2 days and then disappeared for the months of May, June, July, August, and September. He was found when a friendly neighbor raked a pile of leaves off his lawn to reveal a very real iguana. Of course the man thought he had a found a dinosaur and promptly, had a heart-attack (he was fine) and called 911 to report the "6 Foot Green Lizard."

My family and I picked up Sport at the pet store that night. No longer a domestic animal, he was ferocious beast of the suburbs. He whipped things with his tail, bit objects even though he didn't have teeth, and was a master escape artist who had a knack for escaping around Christmas and posting up in the tree with the ornaments..

He was the coolest pet three boys with allergies could have ever have. He made the gold-fish terrorizing, meat eating, bad-ass fish we also had look like a boring version of Nemo. Later Sport, you had a good run. 16 years for an Iguana, with a life so full, is pretty damn sweet.

1 comment:

  1. I'll add, Sport has been a way cool addition to my family. He loves me, but terrorized my husband. And, I assure you, Sport has razor sharp shark-like teeth - my husband has quite a scar to prove it (Sport snuck up behind him and nailed him right in the leg).

    We promise to spoil him right up until the end.